LOST IN MY LOST WORLD

My world is darkness,
Silence killing me slowly.
Icy fingers squeeze my throat tightly.
I cannot breathe.
Everything is fading to black.
I am burnt out.
Lost deep within myself.
Deep within the abyss that is my soul.
The silence is screaming within the
   prison that is my mind.
The six walls that surround me.
I feel like death.
I am rot and decay.
My life is a grave.
Lost within my despair.
Lost within my loneliness.
The pressure is growing as the silence
   grows louder.
And louder still.
I forget where  I am.
I forget who I am.
Maybe I just don't want to.
Reality is just so frightening.
I just want to escape.
Before I am overcome by all of this.
Sinking deeper down within myself.
My cries have become endless echoes
   reverberating inside my head.
Is this the end of me?
Can I run away?
Can I hide away?
I'm lost as it is.
I just want to become numb.
I do not want to feel.
Anything other than this is better
   than the hell I have been living.
I want out.
I want to be far away from here.
To rest just once.
To see the sunlight once again.
To be free of this darkness.
To find myself for the first time again.
Somewhere is so far away.
Nowhere is right here.
Life is killing me softly.
Swallowing me.
Devouring me.
Do I exist?
Did I ever?
I do not know.
I just want to know.
Where am I.
Who am I.
Was I?

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

GO!

Time passes everyone by.
Leaving them far behind.
We're all caught
   in the dust cloud.
And lose perspective
   for a short while.
Feeling disoriented can be
   nauseating.
Confusion and frustration
   often set in.
Life's hard enough as it is.
With the ever passing moment
   ever passing.
Time borrowed is coming due.
And is almost gone.
Before you know it,
   it will all be over.
When it's too late you will
   know it.
All those wasted years.
They should have been
   all golden.
Instead they're tarnished.
There we sit crying,
   "Oh woe is me."
No point in lamenting now.
You had your chance.
Just one chance.
You choose to use it.
Or you choose to loose it.
But, all this is yet to come.
You still have your chance.
Don't let fear get in the way.
Fear is your greatest enemy.
You are in control.
Do not hold yourself back.
Let go of your fear.
And hold onto your hope.
Hope will never let
   you down.
Hope is stronger than fear
   and time.
Hold on for dear life.
For all that you're worth.
Don't hold anything
   to chance.
It will surely take it.
Then it will be gone.
Leaving you standing
   there, empty handed.
You are in control.
It's your choice.
Remember only one thing
   is for sure.
And that is change.
You can always depend
   on that.
This is it.
Choose now, choose wisely.
Don't let chance steal
   anything.
You are above all that.
Follow your heart.
You'll never go astray.
Right here, right now.
Time is running out.
Don't you let it.
Better get with it then.
Go!

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

EMPTY

I sit alone in an empty room.
In an empty house.
Just walls and a roof.
This place is not a home.
Only grief lives here.
Despair lives here too.
Loneliness is always visiting.
I cry silently.
I hide my tears in my pillow.
I keep my screams inside my head.
No one needs to see.
No one needs to know.
No one understands.
I don't even understand.
How could anyone else?
How could they care anyway?
I don't want to feel this way any more.
Someone please take this all away.
I don't want to feel any more.
Numb me from the inside out.
I want to cut everything out.
Till I bleed it all out.
If this is where I'm going to live
   then I don't want to live.
If this is all there is for me.
I just don't want to live it at all.
I cannot continue any more.
Not here, not like this.
No way, no how.
The emptiness is filling me.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

GOD PLEASE

I just don't know any more.
Maybe I never did.
Things are happening too fast.
Coming at me all at once.
What am I supposed to do?
I am just a man, and a poor
   excuse for one at that.
I am just one.
What can I do alone?
What can I do on my own?
I grow faint.
I grow weary.
I am falling.
I fall down.
I lack the strength and
   the will to continue on.
Is this all that there is for me?
Oh God, save me.
You are all that I have left.
Please come and rescue me.
I am so afraid.
My tears blind me.
No one hears my cries.
Can You hear me?
Here I am.
Trying to hide.
Trying to escape.
But see none.
My hope is dwindling.
Can You come and find me?
You are the only one left.
I have nothing.
I am nothing.
God please.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

GREATER IS HE

You came from nowhere.
A surprise attack from the
   shadows.
You struck fast.
You struck hard.
I could not defend myself.
I was down before I even knew it.
I tried to fight back.
But to no avail.
I was wounded too deeply.
Almost mortally.
I was bleeding out.
You moved in for the kill.
But you were stopped in your
   tracks.
My guardian angel, my protector.
Fought back in my stead.
You were pushed back.
You were held back.
As I made my retreat.
As wounded as I was.
There was then a counter strike.
The battle was mighty.
The sky glowed red.
But you were beat down
   into submission.
You fled in full retreat.
And you were vanquished
   once again.
I know you will return.
You bide your time well.
When my guard lets down.
You will be there.
That, I am quite sure of.
But I fear not.
For I am under the protection
   of my King.
And you will fall to defeat again.
So now I will rest assured.
As I recover.
I am not alone.
My King and His guards watch
   over me.
A mighty fortress He is.
A strong tower where I can
   run to in times of peril.
Who can come against me?
Who dares wield a sword
   at me?
There He who goes before me.
Now, who then?
Mighty is my Lord, my King.
Defeat did not come this night.
As I surrendered victory was
   secured.
Greater is He who is in me,
   than he who is in the world.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY