tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91259709604146855092024-03-12T21:29:33.719-04:00THE POET MINDMAKING THE INVISIBLE VISIBLEAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.comBlogger652125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-33168614837014455822015-01-31T01:16:00.000-05:002015-01-31T01:16:53.917-05:00ALONE WITH ME<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3ojSx5Gukq0/VMxvcqKh8JI/AAAAAAAAJv4/J6SdjFXslU0/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3ojSx5Gukq0/VMxvcqKh8JI/AAAAAAAAJv4/J6SdjFXslU0/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="183" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am within me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, I do not know where I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can speak.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I yell, I scream.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, I cannot hear myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel what I feel.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Anger, hate and suffering.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, I have become numb.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I look through my eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I see all that occurs around and in me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, I cannot save myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have faith.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, my will fails me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I continue every day.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I remain the same.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The realization I know all too well remains.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am alive, but I do not live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is not where I belong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet, here I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is not who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it is, who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right here, right now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am struggling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am failing, miserably.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not know why.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my lot.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my measure.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here I am, all alone with just me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-85006848235908815582014-07-30T09:31:00.000-04:002014-07-30T09:31:57.985-04:00THE WORDS OF A SHIVERING SOUL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1YJ3DnR-8H4/U9jt3pyFz5I/AAAAAAAAJXk/ovLZnP-RHHI/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1YJ3DnR-8H4/U9jt3pyFz5I/AAAAAAAAJXk/ovLZnP-RHHI/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel so cold.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am frozen within.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Long have the shadows grown.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Darkness has fallen upon me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am lost deep inside myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am afraid.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Silence has gripped me tight.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am suffocating.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My tears are icicles in the corners of my eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They burn, they burn, they burn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am alive, I am dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am forsaken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My pain is tormenting me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Every waking moment I am tortured.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am bleeding internally.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is little to no hope for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What hope there is is helpless.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am nothing and nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What I was I am again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I don't care.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am too far gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am falling, continually falling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is no rock bottom that I can see.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Tell me, where do I go from here?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What am I supposed to do?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, where are You?<br />
We seem to have been separated.<br />
This isn't what I want, or what I asked for.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am self deprecating.<br />
I loathe all that I can see in me.<br />
Oh God, take this broken body and grind my bones into dust,<br />
then cast it all into the wind.<br />
And so, here I am.<br />
Alone, all alone.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-91388759827740409312014-07-25T04:27:00.001-04:002014-07-25T04:27:54.228-04:00SUICIDE NOTE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PiH1wrYqrts/U9IRaTEx7lI/AAAAAAAAJS8/uS0Wco67GTE/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PiH1wrYqrts/U9IRaTEx7lI/AAAAAAAAJS8/uS0Wco67GTE/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is nothing for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not then, not now, not to come.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All hope has drained away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am just so very tired.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Living has become a struggle.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A battle just to believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What is happiness, but a lie?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am down trodden.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fear has consumed all that I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is the rising tide.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The thing that is pulling me down and away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The silence is deafening.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Left alone to drown within myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What is compassion?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just do not care.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let go, I will walk away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love?!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Another lie that I will not believe in any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am broken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am damaged beyond repair.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot be fixed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't really want to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is of no consequence any way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will let the darkness take me now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will give in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will walk into the bitter cold.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The night that awaits me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will take what is mine no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Death is its own reward.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-60626823337063160292014-05-07T12:52:00.000-04:002014-05-07T12:52:11.919-04:00AT MY END I HOPE FOR A BEGINNING<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HgBx-FZcyXo/U2pXcYtZaTI/AAAAAAAAI0E/mP2fi-TmJLM/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HgBx-FZcyXo/U2pXcYtZaTI/AAAAAAAAI0E/mP2fi-TmJLM/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="227" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am angry and enraged.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm full of hate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just look at what I have become.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You did this to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ripped out my heart and tore my soul to shreds.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is nothing left of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And now you're laughing at me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The fire is burning hot within me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will see you burn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know who I am,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or even what I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel like a monster.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hideous and wretched.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am feared,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am fear.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not understand.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just what is going on?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What have you done to me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the devil in me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the Hell that burns me with a cold flame.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As I wipe away another tear.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You've made me a victim,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something I swore I would never be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It happened anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I loathe myself for it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just as you wanted.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You murdered the man I once was.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now you are getting away with it all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is nothing I can do.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You have put the blood on my own hands.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In my mind a fissure forms.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Swallowing me alive.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's no help for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one will come to rescue me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one even cares.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take what you have and leave me be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's a crime that you did this to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's a crime that I let you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I wish I could forget it all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Close my eyes and convince myself none of this ever happened.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But the truth finds me every time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My emotions gave me away again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just as Judas kissed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I'll be the one hanging from the end of a rope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where has my hope gone?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How could this happen to me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I thought I was stronger than this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Idiot!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What a fool I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can still hear your caustic laughter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can still taste the poison on my lips.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can feel it course through my veins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am dying.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will soon succumb to the darkness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why?!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How could I have not seen the rising of the tide?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Was I blind sided?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Was I enticed?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Was I seduced?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, I know not.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With the very last ounce of strength left I cry out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My voice but a scratch as sandpaper.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not even as much as a whisper.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"God please save me."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm at the end of my own rope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have nothing to give any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am nothing now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm looking to You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I lie here completely helpless as a newborn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Will You take away all of this?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Create me again for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Put a heart back in me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And sew up my soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can You wash away the bloodstains?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can You wash away all the dirt and grime that I am covered with?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can You heal my wounds?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please, oh, please.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Breathe life back into this poor wretch of a man.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Make me sound.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I ask of You God,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because I believe You can make me whole again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What's left of my faith I put on You,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm all in now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know I am worthless,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but it's all I have.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
May it be enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please, I put my mind, heart, soul and body into Your hands.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If Your hands can hold the whole world,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am hoping You can hold me as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can You take all that I've been,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
all that I am?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Wipe my eyes dry.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
End the hurt and pain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can take no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am hemorrhaging,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am bleeding out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is the end for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God will You give me a new beginning?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-77500555840626823052014-05-05T08:42:00.000-04:002014-05-05T08:42:37.748-04:00RIGHT NOW<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qxGI1WYDJn0/U2ZUDJ-D4yI/AAAAAAAAIyI/d76o3I4IeYk/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qxGI1WYDJn0/U2ZUDJ-D4yI/AAAAAAAAIyI/d76o3I4IeYk/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right now I feel so weary.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want to close my eyes to life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Letting it go its own way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right now I just don't care.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm all worn and weathered.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart and soul are cracked and bleeding.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My will has worn thin.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel so helpless.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right now I feel myself fading away into nothingness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This feels like my end.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As I am falling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just turn away and go your own way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't need you here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Everyone lies.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want you here, right now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just let me go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm so far down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can't even see the light of day any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I welcome this darkness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I welcome this cold.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right now, it's how I feel.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I don't care.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-44703563002326998192014-05-02T10:08:00.000-04:002014-05-02T10:08:43.539-04:00WHERE DID I GO?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DC1S7waeTHY/U2OkhobsHuI/AAAAAAAAIxU/Ln2oc3dPuPI/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DC1S7waeTHY/U2OkhobsHuI/AAAAAAAAIxU/Ln2oc3dPuPI/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So run down am I.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So tied up and tied down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am born for discouragement.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whatever happened?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where did I go?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My life's a blur.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't know where it began or where it ended.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whatever happened?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where did I go?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I once smiled but now I only know sorrow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whatever happened?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where did I go?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-30901228286605221962014-05-02T05:01:00.000-04:002014-05-02T05:01:56.044-04:00CRACKED BELIEF<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dp0xHpHOeIg/U2NLA4oKUpI/AAAAAAAAIxE/H_kLh588XGU/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dp0xHpHOeIg/U2NLA4oKUpI/AAAAAAAAIxE/H_kLh588XGU/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm having trouble believing right now.<br />
I just don't know any more.<br />
My heart and soul have frozen over.<br />
I don't see what this life has for me.<br />
And I don't see what I have for this life.<br />
I've been hurting for so long.<br />
I mouth has filled with sand.<br />
I cannot speak.<br />
I cannot cry out.<br />
Does it really matter anyway?<br />
I have been drowning inside myself.<br />
I can no longer keep myself above all that pulls me down.<br />
All this angers me.<br />
And I'm so angry at myself for allowing my life to become as it is.<br />
I just don't know why all this has fallen upon me.<br />
God where are You?<br />
I don't even know where I am.<br />
I look down and think to myself, six feet down doesn't seem so far.<br />
Does my life have to be this way?<br />
Why is my life this way?<br />
What's the reason?<br />
Does all this serve any hidden purpose?<br />
God can You answer all my questions?<br />
Before I go.<br />
You see, this life is no life at all.<br />
This life is dead.<br />
I am walking dead.<br />
Actually it's far worse,<br />
I'm stuck in the between.<br />
I am not alive, nor am I dead.<br />
Tell me,<br />
what's worse?<br />
God why do You remain silent?<br />
Am I that small to You?<br />
Why should I care if You don't?<br />
TELL ME!!!<br />
But, then again, I haven't the strength to maintain this anger and hatred.<br />
Too much's been taken from me as it is.<br />
Leaving me more deserted and desolate than any desert.<br />
Why am I here?<br />
What is going on?<br />
I know that I am lost.<br />
I know I am guilty of a multitude of sins.<br />
Am I condemned?<br />
All this suffering and sorrow is killing me.<br />
And I am already dead.<br />
With my head in my hands I scream till my chords snap.<br />
But the only sound I made was less than a whisper.<br />
I've had enough.<br />
I am done with it all.<br />
Tell me, does believing have any reward at all?<br />
'Cause I just don't know any more.<br />
And all my cries go out silently.<br />
I'm almost at my end.<br />
And You don't seem to even know it.<br />
I'm tired of taking all of the blame.<br />
I'm tired of carrying all of this on my shoulders.<br />
It has broken my back.<br />
It's broken me.<br />
I am broken.<br />
I want to believe.<br />
I want to hope.<br />
I want to have faith.<br />
But I am so far gone.<br />
I don't think I can do it any more.<br />
I am so far down.<br />
I just don't see any way out of all this.<br />
My Hell.<br />
God please help me to believe.<br />
Bring me back from the grave.<br />
Breathe life into me.<br />
God please heal me.<br />
Please put this broken man back together.<br />
Or is this my lot and measure in life.<br />
The irony is killing me.<br />
I just cannot figure any of this out.<br />
I must be doing something wrong.<br />
I've lost something of myself somewhere along the way.<br />
Where oh where are the answers that I seek?<br />
Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places.<br />
Maybe it's just me.<br />
It's just that I'm so very weary.<br />
I just cannot go on as I have been trying.<br />
My hands and knees have been rubbed raw.<br />
I leave a bloody trail behind me.<br />
It's no wonder my mind has fragmented and fractured.<br />
This is just too much for me.<br />
I just don't know.<br />
How can I believe when I am buried 'neath all of this.<br />
The burdens I've been trying to carry all along.<br />
And failed miserably.<br />
Being bogged down in my despair,<br />
I just don't know,<br />
I'm beginning not to care.<br />
Tell me, how am I supposed to believe.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-40333486920104742842014-05-02T04:50:00.000-04:002014-05-02T04:50:03.193-04:00THERE'S NOTHING LEFT SO LEAVE ME BE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gvukJ1paT0U/U2FOFyTAMvI/AAAAAAAAIwM/4qgqUaFfing/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gvukJ1paT0U/U2FOFyTAMvI/AAAAAAAAIwM/4qgqUaFfing/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
These feelings that I feel take so much from me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is very little of me left.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not sure how to feel about this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My emotions are beating me up again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am black and blue all over on the inside.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want to rip the heart right of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then I'd feel no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And my emotions would have no other recourse.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Finally my mind could have some rest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe even some peace of mind,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
instead of piece of mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I wish I could forget it all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My burnt memories leave a bad taste behind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just cut me open and let all this bleed out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even if it means I'd be empty and hollow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That would suit me just fine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then there'd be nothing left for anything to feed on.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And there'd be no more of me left.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I no longer care anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh just to take it all away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just leave me be,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
leave me alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want you here any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You made me hate you,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
which in turn made me hate myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is what's happening to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my suffering.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The hell that I am drowning in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As sorrow pulls me down ever deeper.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have no more use.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just let me die.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And let me live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just empty me of everything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing left to feel.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let atrophy take my emotions.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And then just leave me be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-85723564710298613562014-04-29T14:08:00.000-04:002014-04-29T14:08:14.698-04:00HOPE AFTER ALL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KyD53fQks1s/U1_WshmlvsI/AAAAAAAAIuc/V1s1xgdMfsI/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KyD53fQks1s/U1_WshmlvsI/AAAAAAAAIuc/V1s1xgdMfsI/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have grown so weary.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The pain from all the harms has saturated me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The wounds are too many.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There are scars upon scars.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart has crumbled to dust.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The soulache I feel is indescribable.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My knuckles are stained red from the blood I've shed when I would beat myself up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was always my own enemy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And oh how I hated me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I saw myself as weak.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The self-loathing went all the way down to my very core.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Like a tumour that had devoured everything that was me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With no hope for a cure.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My thoughts slowly killed me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know I betrayed myself over and over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was filled with anger over this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Which begat rage, which begat fear, which begat suffering.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There was just nothing in me for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could figure out what my so-called life was for.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Never did I find the reason for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now it feels as though it's just too damn late.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe it is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe all this is a dream become a nightmare.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it all feels too real.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe my feelings are lying to me again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It wouldn't be the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could get very far from myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My own inner voice was what destroyed me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I look all around me and I see the desolation.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Everything...EVERYTHING!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Was in ruins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I lived under blood red skies.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I walked on a scorched earth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The acrid smell of my burning world filled my paper lungs.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I choked as I slowly suffocated.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My life and my world became a quarantine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My poison slowly spread throughout all of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Slowly I sank deep into myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where I lived became a prison then a tomb.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My fate became sealed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was damned, I was condemned.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was forsaken, as I felt.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one could tell me otherwise.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one could get close enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I didn't care, I didn't give a damn any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one else cared.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And it didn't matter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing mattered.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For nothing was what I felt and still do to this very day.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My memories began to fade like old photographs.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The corners curled up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And everything became just too hard to make out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So I gave up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could find myself anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Lost somewhere along the way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not that I did ever go anywhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was perfectly content.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Prodigal?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So what!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Apathy was just fine with me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one cared, why should I?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then I awoke.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I opened my eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My sight was fogged over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then everything cleared.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was horrified.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was still living my so-called life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My feelings were still lying to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My emotions couldn't be trusted either.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Of which was I better off with?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Lost in my own imagination?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or lost in this life of death?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have no answer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All I know, is that I'm here,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
right here,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
right now, where I always am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Surrounded by my six walls.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where the darkness was absolute.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whether damned in a nightmare,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or damned in a dead life still didn't matter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Unforgiven and forsaken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God has turned His back on me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just like I continually turned my back on Him.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I cannot help but to feel like I am being lied to still.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, are You still there?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can You hear me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If You are there somewhere, can You save me from myself?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think I've almost done myself in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Everything good and alive in me has almost been bled of it all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've only enough strength to hold onto what tatters remain of my hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And that hope still seems to not have let me down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe there's still hope for me after all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just don't know,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm still not so sure.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know where to go from here,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
when here is still nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My living Hell.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can still see a micro sized shimmer of light.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is it artificial light,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or is it the glimmer of light left that's guiding me home?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Something I've never really known.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I am still trying to believe,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something so hard for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's so hard to believe with all this hanging over my head like black storm clouds.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But the little hope I have keeps me going.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though I feel I'm not going anywhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Hey dummy! Feelings lie!" I try to tell myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whether it's anywhere or nowhere it still doesn't really matter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want to find a place to belong in a world where I don't belong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want to find somewhere that I can call home.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where I can finally rest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My candle has almost melted all the way down to a soon to be a bloody hardened pool of what was once who I was.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never did know or understand that part of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, then, I remember.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am still here,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that's somewhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's something,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something to hold onto.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Something that I can call hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Looks like nowhere is somewhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It may not be much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it's something,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and that's everything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I guess I matter after all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's reason and why for my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's all I need to hold on, to hold out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can finally believe in myself, I can forgive and love myself again, for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have hope,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
hope's all that I need.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And that's enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-25740264857657668272014-04-27T09:14:00.000-04:002014-04-27T09:14:19.611-04:00MY EMPTY HOUSE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P2wujCvcLj4/U1z7nuPx68I/AAAAAAAAIpg/ba1-APz96FQ/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P2wujCvcLj4/U1z7nuPx68I/AAAAAAAAIpg/ba1-APz96FQ/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm all alone in an empty house.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel so hollow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The tears taste so bitter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's how I am feeling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All alone within myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think of you,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
even though I don't want to.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It hurts so very much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am having trouble holding on.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's so hard when there's no one to hold me up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Someone to tell me everything's going to be okay.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All this pain I keep hidden deep down in my soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it's killing me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to be numb.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want to feel anything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The tears, oh how they burn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm feeling that I just cannot go on.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want to go on.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart has blackened.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart has hardened.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I wish that you were here with me still.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have so much that I need to say to you,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
face to face.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So much I want to take back, but I know that I cannot.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are gone, and I'm still here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have to go on living.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No matter how much it hurts.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I do not want to.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to look and see you with me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that you have gone away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You have gone home at last.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that your pain and suffering are at an end.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I cannot help but to mourn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though I know that I will see you again someday.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it still hurts so very much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one sees me cry,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
no one knows of my pain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In life I never said that I love you to you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want that chance to again for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As I sit here, in my heart I know that I love you,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and that you know that I love you too.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Still I hold onto all the hurt and pain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm afraid to let them all go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What if you go too?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will never forget you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though there was much anger and hatred shared between us.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I still bear the scars on my skin.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I still can see all that all too well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I still ask why.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it doesn't matter any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's all moot.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I closed my eyes and you were gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaving your empty shell behind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can still see it as though you were just sleeping just as I did that night.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I long for the days that you were alive.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's not the same with just the memories in my heart and my mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So many of them are faded like old photographs.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Others are all scorched, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
others are all burnt.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So I put them all in a box and seal it forever.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want to see them again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It just hurts so very much,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
too much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not return here again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though I will always remain in this empty house.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hollow as it is,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
hollow as I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-17298499911783849552014-04-26T06:40:00.000-04:002014-04-26T06:40:55.619-04:00THE LIVING HELL I AM LIVING (IN MY MIND)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3XH4a5Ge0xc/U1uAph6yz6I/AAAAAAAAIoI/a69KKPhtJrs/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3XH4a5Ge0xc/U1uAph6yz6I/AAAAAAAAIoI/a69KKPhtJrs/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am stained red.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart and soul have blackened.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am torn and left in tatters blowing in the wind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am shaking with fear.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Despair is choking me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I drop to my knees,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
then facedown into the crimson muck.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am ashamed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I suffer the blame.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's a crime that I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I live in the prison I made myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's nothing more for me to say.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have given up all hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My faith is dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All of my lies have brought me here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I have killed myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I drew the line and then crossed it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What else was I to do?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I saw no end.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There was no light at the end of the tunnel.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just absolute dark.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't believe in any rock bottom,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or at least I shot right through mine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So there's no looking up for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am down,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will always be down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All my options have been wasted.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So here I am,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
where I always am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Out in the open, exposed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The driving rain falls down on me like hundreds of arrows.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The frigid wind hits me like a barrage of bullets and warheads from a thousand guns.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am so cold and afraid.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am all huddled up, shivering.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Wondering where am I going from here,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and just where is here?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It feels like nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've been walking in circles for the whole of my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am lost, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am fallen.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot run, I cannot get away from myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Wherever that I go there I am as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My own worst enemy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I give myself up every time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I betray myself with a kiss.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God has turned His back on me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Forgotten and forsaken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I guess He doesn't want me any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My name has been taken away,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am no one.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have no identity,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have no point of origin with which I can refer to.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot start over again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not even try.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It seems so useless to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just when I was beginning I came to an abrupt end.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hit my end going faster than the speed of light.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I lie here crying.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Knowing that there is nothing left for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am in the middle of a vicious circle,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a vicious cycle with no end in sight.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I spin faster,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
faster still,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and faster still.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My mind is unable to comprehend,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
eventually it just stops.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It doesn't work any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not that it did in the first place.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is fallen apart just like I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Anger and hate have taken over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Feeding the rage inside me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All this takes so much out of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaving nothing of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am me no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to die,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I died a long time ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is no more reason.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is no more purpose.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My mind is chaotic and psychotic.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Call me a psychopath.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have quarantined myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am toxic.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am bleeding internally.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have began shutting down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This grey world has turned black.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am fading away,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am fading out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I murdered love.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I murdered who I really am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Left lying where I was,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
where I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let me rot, let me decay.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not me any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one will remember me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just a tiny figment of a imagination.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To hell with this living hell that I am living.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am burning with a cold fire.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am ash and cold embers.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Left behind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I burned out,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I burned away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is all, this is nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I just do not understand anything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What is going on?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My body is wrapped in a vine of thorns.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The thorns bite into me and keep going deeper and deeper.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is just no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-79445695928170908052014-04-19T11:21:00.000-04:002014-04-19T11:21:53.142-04:00I HAVE BECOME WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lk-qwTgV7Ak/U1J8TX4Q3_I/AAAAAAAAIbI/5teK72zdkKc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lk-qwTgV7Ak/U1J8TX4Q3_I/AAAAAAAAIbI/5teK72zdkKc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The world makes a lot of noise,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it's deafening.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It always makes me feel so violated.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I always feel like I am covered in a thick covering of filth that I just cannot wash or even scrub off.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No matter how hard that I try.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Living in this world makes me feel so cold and dark and all alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just don't know where to go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just don't know what to do.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't even know what to say, or if I even should.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What's to say anyway?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No matter what, I know it will all be the same to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Pain, hurt, suffering and anger are inevitable.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And that's a given.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not see any use in any of this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just what is in it for me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What's wrong with me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is it all my fault?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that I don't belong here,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
even though I still look for a place to belong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heartstrings are unravelling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My seams are all coming apart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And my mind is growing more frayed with the passing of each moment.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe it's just me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just don't know!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If I'm the one to make my own choices, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
then,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
how the hell am I supposed to when I have no choice?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All this puts immense pressure on the hinges of my sanity and reality.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All that I have buried deep down inside me is about to come out like a nuclear detonation.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Man, this world must really hate me!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If she doesn't care about me, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
then why does she always beat up on me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What did I do to bring all of this down on me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What did I do to deserve all of this?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I certainly do not want any of this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Its weight is just too much for me to bear.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've already had enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want it all to end.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When will it end?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Will it end?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This world doesn't want me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Heaven doesn't want me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hell doesn't want me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't even want me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am shivering from the cold so hard that I am starting to crack and crumble into dust.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And the dust is filling my lungs.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cough and choke.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Someone please stop this damned world,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to get off.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I try to walk my paths, but all my paths lead me to nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just where is nowhere?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But here I am in the middle of nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Living on the outskirts of life,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
on the wrong side of the tracks.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one wants to associate with me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't blame them,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't even want to associate with me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm afraid to close my eyes at night because I will just have to open them again in the morning.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With blood red skies above me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With scorched and burnt memories in a twisted mind, heart and soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hate this world I am condemned to live in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I regret everything,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and I regret having regrets.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I only have brought shame and dishonour upon myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Knowing full well that I have brought the same upon my God.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe He doesn't want me to be His child any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe I have fallen from His grace.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God are You ignoring me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Have You forsaken me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
'Cause I feel I've been cursed.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I live with ridicule and fear in this so-called life of "mine".</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My hope has become hopeless.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My faith has turned to air and blown away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I'm down on bloodied hands and knees.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the strength to continue.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And everything is on me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's all me, me alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am at fault.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am guilty.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have been sentenced to life,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
life living this death.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cry aloud and I scream till I burst at the seams.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just look at the mess I am,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the mess that I have made.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot help but to feel sorrow and despair.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So much so that my tears flow like a raging white water river.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My pillow is blemished with all the tear stains.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And that's how I see myself,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a stain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Unwanted and undesirable.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How can I hate this world when I hate myself even more?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did the world do all this to me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did life do this to me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did I do it to myself?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just forget it!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How can I, when I am reminded when I peek into my broken mirror?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm such a disappointment,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to God, to myself, to each and every one I have met along the way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Everyone came into and then out of my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or did I run away, leaving them behind?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
None of this really matters any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am such a failure of my own.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe I'm a failure of God as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But that doesn't really make any sense at all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So, here I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am always here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Wondering where and if I am going from here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just don't know!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, where are You?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can't You hear my cries and pleas?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know I am just a speck,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but have You forgotten about me?<br />
I don't want to blame You,<br />
but I am feeling helpless here.<br />
If You know everything I need and if You will provide;<br />
why then am I burdened with all of this?<br />
With no end in sight.<br />
With no hope of receiving assurance.<br />
All of which are foreign to me.<br />
God, is there a chance that You can come and save me,<br />
save me from myself?<br />
I am my own worst enemy.<br />
And I am afraid of myself the most,<br />
for I know what I am capable of.<br />
I know if I continue this way I will catch up to myself,<br />
then I am sure to do myself in.<br />
Does that matter to You?<br />
I am not so sure it does to me.<br />
So I separate, I isolate.<br />
I am a biohazard.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A dangerous contagion.<br />
I am toxic, I am poisonous, I am caustic.<br />
I will pull anyone who wanders too close down with me.<br />
Would you listen to me,<br />
I have become the world.<br />
And the world has become me.<br />
It's no wonder that I am what I am.<br />
I have done all this to myself.<br />
The whys and therefores are moot.<br />
I don't want any more of it any more.<br />
If only I could throw it away.<br />
Lay it down somewhere and leave it far behind.<br />
Put it all to flame and watch it burn.<br />
Would I be free then?<br />
God, please, take me away from myself.<br />
Please take all of this away from me.<br />
It's just too much to hold much less to carry.<br />
It's making my soul sick.<br />
My soul is blackened.<br />
God please suck the poison from my veins.<br />
Can You heal all of my open wounds?<br />
Can you put me back together again?<br />
Could You possibly clean up this big mess that I am?<br />
I have become what I have always been.<br />
I no longer want to be.<br />
God please!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-79214245223275019182014-04-17T03:11:00.001-04:002014-04-17T03:11:15.669-04:00THE HEALING BEGINS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JSNG_6FUSKg/U09tKJItSuI/AAAAAAAAIaQ/YZwMYCvGP0k/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JSNG_6FUSKg/U09tKJItSuI/AAAAAAAAIaQ/YZwMYCvGP0k/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's a tear in my soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can hear the whistle as it breathes out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's a hole in my heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where you used to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here I am now, bleeding out, remembering you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's like cutting myself wide open.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do it to myself every time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Each time the blade goes deeper and deeper.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Memories of you are dark,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
darker than a starless night sky.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I would give anything just to have some more time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Time to finish what was beginning.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The healing was just beginning.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then it just ended.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But not for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I remember that night well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My last words to you were so malicious.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never knew that that night would be the last night that I would miss the chance to make everything right.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not that I did not have the time prior.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We had a whole lifetime together.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Forty years passed by so fast.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We both missed the chance to bridge the chasm between us.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You did try though.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But it was just not good enough for a selfish man such as I was.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I swallowed your poison years long gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So I took every opportunity to spit it all back in your face.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You dropped all your anger and hate all on me,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so I did the same to you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could love or forgive myself, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
much less anyone else.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But all this doesn't matter any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The time in the glass jar ran out a long time ago,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and no one ever turned it back over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could say that I love you, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I sure could say that I hate you easily.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And those words were more than just words.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I caused you much hurt and pain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I remember hearing you crying alone in your room,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as I used to in my room all those years ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why does history have to repeat itself all the time?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But history is only shaped by all our choices and decisions.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We did it to ourselves, you and I.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I would have liked to let you in to where we could begin again for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And learn to love and forgive so the healing could begin.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But when you fell asleep that night and never woke up, brought all that to an abrupt halt.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You never did say good-bye.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The angels quietly came and took your soul back home.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaving me here with all of my regrets.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Which I regret having.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It never did hit me that you were gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The shock of that night remains to this very day.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The hurt and the pain certainly are still here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel it all to my very core.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Right here, right now, I just want to take all that I said and did back.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I just want one more chance to look into your eyes,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to say that I am sorry for everything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But those bridges were turned to charcoal and ash quite some time ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I would give anything to see you one more time just to hold you in my arms and to tell you I now understand you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"God, could You tell my father that I am sorry and that I forgive him."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"And God, could You tell him that I love him?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"One more thing God, could you teach me to love and forgive myself?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then the healing could begin.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-32758151479942521102014-04-04T09:56:00.000-04:002014-04-04T09:56:14.139-04:00WHAT WAS WAS NOT (NIGHTMARE)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qeHXPt-Uik8/Uz6ux1YXReI/AAAAAAAAIQQ/bSxXq-rKzNw/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qeHXPt-Uik8/Uz6ux1YXReI/AAAAAAAAIQQ/bSxXq-rKzNw/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My soul is dry as a drought.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart cannot breathe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have swallowed too many of my tears.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My life has become toxic.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My world is scorched.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Blocking out the sun.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Ash falls on me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am choking.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am stagnant as lonely pool of dirty water.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is only dust in my veins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am fallen.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My cries are but whimpers.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My eyes have been sewn shut.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have been fenced in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Condemned to a prison of my own construct.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Six walls, no windows, no door.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The dark is absolute.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am so cold.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my iceage.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Extinction has come for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not be remembered.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Welcome to the nightmare that is my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All has been done at my own hands.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Which are stained red.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am my own worst enemy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hate, I loathe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am enraged.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Fear grips my mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's all over now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never had a chance in hell.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now there is hell to pay.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am just so weary.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hear my lament.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is an ode for the silent ones.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Silence is screaming,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
deafening!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We are the forgotten,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the left out,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the left behind, and the forsaken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I only know of despair and hopelessness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Affliction has racked my mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This my torture.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It worsens the longer that I continue to live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
May death claim me soon.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My will is gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have nothing,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The caustic has poured all over me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Soon I will cease to exist.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I question if I ever did live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Was it all a lie?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not afraid of Hell, I have already gone through it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have already lived it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This all was just a story,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or was it?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-82718007011214600862014-04-03T02:02:00.000-04:002014-04-03T02:02:43.657-04:00IT'S ALL ON ME<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LW8ViUziAI0/Uzz2eBKQHwI/AAAAAAAAINk/UOFItQhWqso/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LW8ViUziAI0/Uzz2eBKQHwI/AAAAAAAAINk/UOFItQhWqso/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have come to realize,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that God is not the one who is absent from my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That would be myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was the one who up and just walked away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Never giving it a second thought.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Except to blame God for all that I feel,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and all that I go through.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have come to realize,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that it's my own feelings lying to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My emotions always put me in a fog.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's my choices that have lead me to where I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My choices were motivated by my feelings.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My choices should be motivated by my faith.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I should rely on the hope that is in my faith in my God.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, at the end of the day, and after all has been said and done,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It all comes down to this:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shame on God?!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
NO!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shame on man!!!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-54475327299677025562014-03-28T03:32:00.003-04:002014-03-28T03:43:34.520-04:00A LONELY CROSS TO BEAR<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AzYLM9IC3M4/UzUlgOjRbjI/AAAAAAAAH78/LqisLC-TZvc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AzYLM9IC3M4/UzUlgOjRbjI/AAAAAAAAH78/LqisLC-TZvc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A cross, yours to bear.<br />
Its weight bears you down.<br />
Your strength wanes.<br />
You insist it's your cross.<br />
Yours to bear alone.<br />
And so you fall.<br />
Beneath the weight of your arrogance.<br />
There are those willing.<br />
There are those offering.<br />
Even Christ needed help to carry His cross.<br />
Don't let your ignorance be the weight that finally buries you.<br />
Even the strong grow weak.<br />
Pride is something that will pull you down.<br />
Do you not see?<br />
That you need me.<br />
Just like I need you.<br />
One is never enough.<br />
We all have our crosses to bear.<br />
And we all need help to do so.<br />
There is no shame here.<br />
There is strength in the sharing of weakness.<br />
We're all broken and have fallen.<br />
"Here's my hand...Here's my hand...Here's my hand....<br />
Lift together now, on three."<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-31604109002010188072014-03-23T14:48:00.002-04:002014-03-23T14:48:40.864-04:00HOPE, THIS I BELIEVE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HV8W0I53idA/Uy8jnK3ParI/AAAAAAAAH7I/lR2lXs1PtZg/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HV8W0I53idA/Uy8jnK3ParI/AAAAAAAAH7I/lR2lXs1PtZg/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We do indeed live in hard times these days.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And at times life can feel dark and cold.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The tide always seems to roll back in all the much higher.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's not easy to tread water any more,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
not that it ever was.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We fight for survival,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
which is quite a shame.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Life used to be so grand.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where everyone wore a smile,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
always quick to pass it on.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But hearts have hardened somewhere along the way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One has to struggle just to keep it all together.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I miss seeing the joy of a young child,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
who was free to run and roam wherever he may.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That innocence was stolen a long time ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And it just makes me cry, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because I remember those days from my youth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Without a care in the world except where and what would I explore next.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now that I've grown and I am a man,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I long for those days left so far behind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just to laugh and feel free again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But the world is now in the way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know somewhere deep inside my heart there still beats the heart of that child I used to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The one with boundless wonder.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With faith without questions.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Questions always come with some doubt,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
doubt that boggs us all down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It just breaks an already broken heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where, oh where did we go wrong?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where did we lose away,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
going so far astray?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It feels as though I have lost my soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This hardened heart of mine is so cold,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
cracked and crumbling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I still have some hope that I cling to with all of who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For without this hope there is just nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What a bleak and cynical existence that would be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I still believe my hope will never let me down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It never has thus far.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It always shines, rising up through the rain and the tears.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where I can see the sun again,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
basking in its warmth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It does my heart and soul good.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If hope is all that I have, then hope is all I need.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please do not ever let go of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For You are the only hope I have.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is You that I believe in, wholly and solely.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You bring ease to this troubled mind of mine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You bring comfort to the chaos life has become.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We do indeed live in hard in times these days.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But with even the smallest measure of hope I believe what we have lost can be again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even the dimmest of lights can shine the brightest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For in hope there is strength and courage.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Enough to make it past the last milestone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where our journey is destined to lead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Home.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where the heart wants to be again for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So, remember this one last thing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's never over, beyond all hope, there is certainly joy in abundance.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This I believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-5709976497479656142014-03-16T14:09:00.000-04:002014-03-16T14:09:24.279-04:00ACTUALLY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cjsf_-oVYsQ/UyW1THO4DSI/AAAAAAAAH0c/2-egJ3eqArc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cjsf_-oVYsQ/UyW1THO4DSI/AAAAAAAAH0c/2-egJ3eqArc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I look around me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
At the world that I live in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I see scorched skies and scorched earth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The air that I breathe chokes me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I feel so empty.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I walk along my way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Feeling oh so alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where did everything go?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Whatever happened to me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where did I go wrong?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I need to know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, I feel so very far away from You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot hear You any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot feel You any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The tears flow freely.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I wipe them away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I try to hide them.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't want anyone to see.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one needs to know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They would not understand anyway.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I fear the ridicule that would surely come.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am having trouble believing these days.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am losing hope in these hard times.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With my faith slipping away from me in these dark days.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have fallen so many times that I cannot get up any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The pain that I feel freezes my soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart is no longer breathing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My mind just crumbles into dust.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am broken.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This life is no place for this man to live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not fit to survive on my own.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know why I continue to try.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just what is it that I am looking for?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What do I want?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What do I need?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know this,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know not.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My skies are always falling down on me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My walls are all in ruins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Weathered and withered am I.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Living for me hurts so very much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's why I am afraid to do so.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm even afraid to try.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What does it mean to live anyway?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What kind of man do I need to be?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And why do I seem to be so far away from myself?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not even know who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, how did I end up being this way?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Is it all a lie?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I sure hope it is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hope I open my eyes and it was all just a bad dream.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I do not think that it is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is all so very real to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my reality.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have been hurt.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel pain every day.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All the harms I have known keep me this way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I look around me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
At the world around me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's then that I realize that I am actually looking in myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's not about the world around me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's about the world within me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's where I live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's where I am slowly killing myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please save me from myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-65256506032218336832014-03-16T14:02:00.000-04:002014-03-16T14:02:24.372-04:00WHAT I HAVE BECOME<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHc-ctSMbuk/UyN8uBOqYFI/AAAAAAAAHu8/InFgv5VvWr4/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHc-ctSMbuk/UyN8uBOqYFI/AAAAAAAAHu8/InFgv5VvWr4/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in love,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with hate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in the truth,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with lies.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in grace,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with judgement.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in acceptance,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with loathing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in hope,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with hopelessness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in faith,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with despair.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in forgiveness,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but I am filled with anger.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is me,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
what I have become.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-14008675635757147922014-03-10T22:39:00.000-04:002014-03-10T22:39:32.796-04:00BLOODSTAINED HANDS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FOnIzScgXbU/Ux5s794cJdI/AAAAAAAAHlg/oORlxF1CObk/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FOnIzScgXbU/Ux5s794cJdI/AAAAAAAAHlg/oORlxF1CObk/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was you, you were me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I killed you, you killed me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was a crime that I did it to you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was a crime you did it to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why am I the only one imprisoned?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why am I the only one with bloodstains on his hands?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are gone, I am still here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm not so sure that's a good thing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because now I am completely alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With a total absence of everything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do I still believe?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do I not believe any more?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The one thing I do know is that I do not know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am condemned.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am cursed by my own words.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Where do I go from here?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When here is nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I regret everything I regret.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I left you lying dead on the ground.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, I feel as though I am the one who's dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am a ghost.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Neither here nor there.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Life no longer exists for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But then again, it never did.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is no such thing as freedom.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I walk in the shadows.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I prefer it that way.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How am I supposed to believe with this black cloud looming over me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why has agony consumed me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that I am guilty.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I punish myself every day.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I torture and torment myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I almost derive perverse pleasure from it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's almost like I'm killing myself all over again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As I live in a prison of my own making.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Six walls and darkness absolute.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I scratch and I claw.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though there is no hope for escape.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here I will remain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This time I will wither and flake away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will crack and crumble to minute dust.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With no legacy left.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one ever cared.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one will ever care.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The no good son.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The wayward one.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The prodigal.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I killed you, you killed me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am no more, you are no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just two lost souls, now become one.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But the end is the same.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-83214160663738805552014-03-09T16:09:00.000-04:002014-03-09T16:18:24.729-04:00FEELINGS I HAVE KNOWN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jeyurIGOWSA/UxzG84zErkI/AAAAAAAAHlQ/jEFa7cGbarA/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jeyurIGOWSA/UxzG84zErkI/AAAAAAAAHlQ/jEFa7cGbarA/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the time for regrets,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but regrets I have.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the time for scorched memories,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but scorched memories I have.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the time for ill feelings,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but ill feelings I have.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Broken, beat and scarred I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing to give.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing to take.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A failure am I.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the time for my tears,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but my tears fall.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the time for my pain,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but pain I feel.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't the time for hurt,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but hurt I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Broken, beat and scarred I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing to give.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing to take.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A failure am I.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-40839703172340047022014-03-05T17:10:00.000-05:002014-03-05T17:10:15.396-05:00YOU CAN BELIEVE (YOU BELIEVE)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1M4Zre4yH_Y/UxeUjbU54bI/AAAAAAAAHjw/XAUmzL8k7NE/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1M4Zre4yH_Y/UxeUjbU54bI/AAAAAAAAHjw/XAUmzL8k7NE/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="366" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your heart will be pulled and stretched.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes beyond what it can take.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then you will break.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The wound will be deep.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There will be bleeding inside.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The crimson flow will mix with the tears' flow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The pain will feel like you are going to die.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Some of you may even do so.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You will want to give up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just roll over, it will all get better in due time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't you believe it!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Feelings tend to lie.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As long as you have hope you have courage and strength.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To rise above.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can rise above.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing can hold you down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing can hold you back.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not even you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can believe in yourself, it's alright to.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You have to, if you're going to survive.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And not just survive, but thrive.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are meant for so much more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So much more than you can know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can you hear a still, small voice?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That's Spirit within you where you felt there was nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's all very real.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can promise you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now your hope has shown you there is indeed faith in that broken heart and tattered soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That black hole within you that you thought was consuming you was and is just another lie.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can stop taking lies as truths.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can stand and you can be counted.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do not go quietly.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please, there is a Living Love within you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That love will make your faith stronger and more solid than steel.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now, close your eyes, you will see.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are worth so much more than the sum of everything you think you are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is the truth; the heart of everything within you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The wounds will heal.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They will all cover over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Leaving a scar.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Scars are beautiful.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They speak of the strength within your heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The strength within your mind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love, you see, is so very real.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It exists.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It exists for you, within you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's at the very core of who you are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Believe!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just believe!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sorrow and hurt are finite.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hope, faith and love are infinite.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And love stands apart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It being the greatest.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's who you are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love is forgiving.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can believe you can of yourself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love is for giving.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can receive it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can take it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can love yourself for the first time, again.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just look at your scars.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was love that healed the former wounds.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love brought soothing to your pain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love brought comfort to the hurt from your harms.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do not hide your scars.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Such beautiful scars.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bear your scars.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Remember where you came from.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Remember the who you used to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
See who you really are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Who you have become.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know, oh I know, it is the hardest thing you will ever do.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No matter how much it hurts.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because love hurts.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love always leaves a mark.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your scars. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your beautiful scars.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Painful wounds will always cover over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They will always heal.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you just believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love heals.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The Great Paradox.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love will tear you down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Love will uplift you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hold on, hold out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hold fast, stay strong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because you can.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because you are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because you believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You believe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-64795027024334562132014-03-03T12:16:00.000-05:002014-03-03T12:16:02.679-05:00NO APOLOGIES, NO EXPLANATIONS, NO NEGOTIATIONS (MY LIFE!)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3qYWobZUNnA/UxSuqKBLsZI/AAAAAAAAHe4/CGLD0CYTMx0/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3qYWobZUNnA/UxSuqKBLsZI/AAAAAAAAHe4/CGLD0CYTMx0/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not apologize for that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nor will I explain.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not negociate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If I'm not good enough for you then that's your problem.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not mine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You want me to be who I am not.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You want me to be what you think someone should be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You want me to be just like you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot, I will not do or be that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will listen to words of wisdom but I will ignore what is just plain wrong for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's my life for me to live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I make all the choices.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I make all the decisions.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not need you to tell me any different.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just because I'm not who you think I should be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And so you ridicule me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You insult me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Have you forgotten about love?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Aren't we all supposed to love each other, regardless?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If you're just going to be condescending then you can just leave.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You cannot come to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You cannot call me out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You cannot come against me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are no different than me and I am no different than you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We are the same in God's eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No better, no worse.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know I am not perfect, far from it in fact.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You don't need to remind me of that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not argue who a person should be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So you can just shut it!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Accept me as I am, such as I am, or leave me be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't need any negativity.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have enough in me as it is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I do not want any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So be still your tongue.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I need to live my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are no help, you are a stumbling block.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are not a door, you are a wall.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are a burning bridge that I'll never get to cross.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just let me be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Let me go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is not open to discussion.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There will be no terms given.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not fight over this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And only I can be who I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's between God and I alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've wasted enough time with you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will follow the tried and tested, perfect will of God for my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And so I go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have a life to lead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Good-bye to you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Farewell.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hope and pray that you find whatever it is you're seeking.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
May God bless you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-20772586311101856092014-03-02T10:46:00.000-05:002014-03-02T10:48:25.846-05:00THE DESPERATELY DESPERATION OF THE DESPERATE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lqUHCZ54NT4/UxMrqTfKGFI/AAAAAAAAHeU/gtraF-LCBsc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lqUHCZ54NT4/UxMrqTfKGFI/AAAAAAAAHeU/gtraF-LCBsc/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never did.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Life is confusing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is constantly changing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am miserable.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Everything is in chaos.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to feel numb.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to feel pain rather than nothing at all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know what's right.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know what's wrong.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All I know is that I am not there.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I walk through a minefield.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am mired down in the crimson mud.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Life rains down on me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am diseased.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am incurable.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It hurts to move.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It hurts to breathe.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It hurts to think.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am slowly bleeding out from my wounds.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am cut wide open.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I choke on my own life blood.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am still desperately clinging to hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There has to be a way out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There has to be a way to escape from all this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A way to leave all this behind.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe I am just blind to it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am afraid to live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even to try.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am afraid to die.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even to try.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh God, where are You in all this?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot take any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot take being alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know why I tried.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am just not strong enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I blame my own ignorance.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am so arrogant.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am such a fool.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please, save me from me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My own worst enemy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am defeated.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My hands are covered in my own blood.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What was I thinking?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How could I think I would get away with murder?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All I know is that I want to get away from here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Far away from all this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please, don't turn Your back on me just like everyone else.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My need far surpasses what I can give.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My burdens are just too much for me to hold myself erect.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Down on scraped and bloodied knees.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then face down on the ground.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The burdens are crushing me beneath their weight.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jesus, Saviour, please save me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I need You, I need You now, I You now more than ever.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am almost at terminal velocity.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will soon crash and burn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Rock bottom is racing up to meet me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's no avoiding it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I will not survive this this time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I close my leaking eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They instantly freeze shut.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am reaching out with a feeble hand.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cry out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My voice is hoarse.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The only noise I make is silence.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please hear me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please, I don't want to die like this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please, I do not want to die.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am afraid.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Consumed, saturated.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My apathy brought me here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I blame only myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How did I get here in the first place?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How did everything come all undone and cave in on me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hit rock bottom and kept on going.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My grasp on my hope is slipping.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, where are You right now?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is hard for me to see You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have x's for eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My mouth has been sewn shut tight.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I burn with a cold heat.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All that was good in me has been stolen away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't even see it coming.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or did I?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did I just ignore it all?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did I just turn a blind eye?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not wanting to face what's wrong in me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Hoping it would just all go away on its own.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I did not bury my head in the ground.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I buried my whole body.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And the pressure crushed me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now I am about to implode.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From all the pressure that's built up in me over an entire lifetime.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All those wasted years.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I let them all go.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Now I am paying the unpayable price for it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Just look at me now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All alone in the middle of nowhere.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Living on the outskirts of life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Always on the wrong side.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am on the outside looking in through dirty, cracked panes of glass.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And the driving rain is so cold.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can feel the cold all the way to my very core.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want to die, but I am already dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Did I ever live?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What is never used is atrophied.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I cannot say that I miss anything.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You cannot miss what you never had.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am less than nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing from nothing still equals nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh how I wish that I didn't care.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe it all would not hurt like it does.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I do, for some stupid reason.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From somewhere deep within my Heart of Hearts I still have will.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I still have a will to live.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not ready to die, not just yet.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not done yet.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not done what?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe I'm not done causing myself harm.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All I know is that I still loathe myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's all that I know.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have never known any different.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have always gone my own way, on my own terms.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I thought I knew better.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though I knew it wasn't true.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, I know I turned my back on You and walked away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I haven't any excuses that would make it all better.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing I say or do will take away all the pain and dishonour I bring on You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know I don't deserve any help from You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But only You can help me now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Only You can save me now.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am too far gone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I've even lost myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh God I am so sorry.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know that being sorry just does not seem the right thing to say nor does it seem enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But what else can I say?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What else can I do?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can never make it right.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please forgive me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know I am my own curse.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That is what my so-called life has become.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the prodigal.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the tear in Your eye.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the thorn in Your heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the sin that separates.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't expect You to even bother with me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, I still remember what You said to me a long time ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You said You would never forsake me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or did I just imagine it?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please! I cannot live this living hell any more, not that I ever could.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the only one that I still trust.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Everyone else has hurt me too much, too many times.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But then again, I still have blood on my own hands.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My hands are stained by my own blood.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Who can I blame now?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
On whom can I lay fault upon?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the only one here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Stabbed in the back by my own hand.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is why I loathe myself so much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Broken, I was the one who broke me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was the one who cut me wide open.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was the one who stood over me laughing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please take me far away from me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am just too much of a danger to myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Left to myself I will surely do myself in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I am so weary Jesus.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You once said to me that You would always be here with me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I must say that I have never seen You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You said that You'd always hold me and would never let me down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Then why have I never felt You?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I guess it's been me all the while.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the one who strong armed You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel so far away from You, and yet I feel You so very close to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in all that You have ever said to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I believe in You, You and only You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's myself that I do not believe in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's me that I do not trust.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's me that I am most enraged at.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Maybe that's why I only cause myself harm.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But right now it doesn't matter any more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am separated and isolated.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I made all the choices.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one else can be held accountable for that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But what choice did I have?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My mind is fragmented.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart is fractured.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My soul is torn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Still I blame me and me alone.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I judge myself guilty.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I condemn myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am sentenced to a prison of my own making.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One of six walls, no window, no door.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Darkness complete.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I do not want to be here.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I want out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But escape is impossible.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I saw to that.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God can You hear me?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even with me behind these infinitely thick walls.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can You reach down and pull me out of this place of horror?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have given up on myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please don't You too.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please, my Christ remember me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are my only hope.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Without You I am all alone, I am nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bring truth to where my feelings have lied to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bring my faith back to life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Put breath back into my heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Make my soul whole again, for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can I please lean on You.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am so weary.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My strength wanes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Will You give me a stay of execution?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Even though I am guilty.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take away my iniquities and my afflictions.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The poison that is sin courses through all my veins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I choke and bring up blood.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am bleeding internally.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the only one who can heal me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the only one who can fix this broken man.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please bring me back together again, for the first time.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am afraid because I just do not understand, and I cannot control myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I never could.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not who I want to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is where I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not where I want to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And so I fight with all this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
With open wounds bleeding freely and scars that weep.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh God, please please!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This is my desperation.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What I've become, what I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please turn to me and hear my cracking cries.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Have pity on this pitiful man.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Please give ear to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God please come near.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take this heart as it is.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Take me as I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do with me as You will.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am no more.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am no longer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Such as I am.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9125970960414685509.post-27350722366617300962014-02-22T13:56:00.001-05:002014-02-22T13:56:38.154-05:00CALL ME DEAD<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kQ4b1zl9RGM/Uwjpvl9E-aI/AAAAAAAAHaE/kOMHauX21GA/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kQ4b1zl9RGM/Uwjpvl9E-aI/AAAAAAAAHaE/kOMHauX21GA/s1600/563721_10202631491330758_1594998388_n.jpg" height="228" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Living hurts so very much.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The storms in my life always tear me down and I am carried away.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am beat and battered.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Left in tatters.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My foundation is still intact.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Although cracked and crumbling.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My tears fall like the driven rain against me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
What good are these walls if I've no roof over my head?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have no shelter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No refuge to seek.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one to take me in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's all so very hard to take.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The pain can be excruciating.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is all consuming just as a forest fire would all the trees.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I live all this over and over.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Waiting for a tomorrow that never comes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know not of love.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Only that it hurts.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It bites and leaves its' mark.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A wound that bleeds.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It will not coagulate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No scab forms.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It bleeds me of all life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Inside I feel so dry.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart corrodes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My mind is seized.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My soul is in atrophy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's just too much for one man to take.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God, would You mind if I just went away?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How is this existence?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am burning.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, I burn.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No light will ever pierce this dark.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Time keeps me prisoner.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Allowing no healing to ever come to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I put my fist to the wall.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the only one who breaks.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the only one who falls down.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am left in ruins.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Alone and desolate.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If this is my life, then call me dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230794803392536111noreply@blogger.com3