Here I am.
I'm right in front of you.
Your stare remains above me.
When you do look at me your stare burns
a hole right through me.
I feel like I am in visible silence.
Oh how the silence screams in my mind.
And I scream out too.
But you are not listening.
Pretending you cannot hear anything.
Why can't you hear me?
Why can't you see me?
That's what I am, nothing.
I will turn my back to yours to mine.
I will sew my mouth shut.
I will sew Xs over my eyes as you have.
I will trace lines on my arms.
I will call them artwork.
But I am confident that no one will see.
Here I am in visible silence, I am invisible.
Have I died and gone to hell?
Or worse; am I alive and in hell?
I cannot stem this bleeding any more.
I am slowly dying.
I am slowly killing myself, right in front of you!
I am angry, I am enraged.
To be forced to hide deep within myself.
Why does no one see me?
Why does no one hear me?
Why must I suffer in visible silence?
I guess I do not matter.
I guess I am not important.
I am right here.
Right here, in front of you.
You look at me as if I was non- existent.
That is how I am feeling.
Feelings I will try to cut through.
Feelings I will try to sever from myself.
I will allow myself to bleed out.
With it, all of this will bleed out too.
Will you see me then?
Will you hear me then?
At least the screaming silence in my mind
will finally stop.
Here I am, still.
Right in front of you.
You cannot hear the screaming.
Or you choose not to.
I know at least, you just do not understand.
Here I am, right in front of you, in visible silence.
The screaming silence.
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(24/11/2012)