I have lost my way again.
Lost in all the grey matter.
Call me prodigal.
Call me foolish.
I have come to believe my own lies.
I have chosen to walk away.
I want to go my own way.
I am standing in the cold again.
I am trying to find my way back home.
I look for that star in the dark skies.
For that candle in the window.
I feel so far away.
I feel so far down.
I am alone and crying.
I am so afraid.
This world is so empty.
I sit here oh so lonely.
Where have I gone?
Where have I come?
I just do not feel right.
I am so confused.
I am so filled with hate.
I am so filled with anger and rage.
It all fogs my vision.
And I don't know which is up.
I don't know which is down.
Even though that is how I feel.
I have been betrayed by my wisdom.
I just do not know anything.
Except this is not where I want to be.
This is not where I belong.
I am frowned upon.
I am looked down upon.
Judgement stares me right in the eyes.
Then puts a bullet right between them.
There is no hope for me.
Faith seems so foreign.
Still I wonder as I wander.
So aimless, no reason, no purpose.
I am about to give up.
I want to give in.
I cannot go on any more.
My strength has let me down again.
As my path crumbles 'neath my feet.
Down I go.
With no rock bottom for me.
There is nothing.
I am nothing.
On my way.
On my way down and out.
I continually crash and burn.
I watch as all the pieces go up in flames.
I will not find wholeness again.
Where I once began.
I now end.

Scott David Buckley-(02/08/2012)

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