I have been knocked down.
I have been pushed down.
I have been hit.
I have been beaten.
I cried as I was laughed at.
I could not get away from it all.
I could not even crawl away.
It seemed no one would let me.
I could not keep to myself.
Wanting just to be left alone.
As I felt...alone.
I always cried out, "Oh God, why, why must I endure all this?"
Because I just do not see the reason for it all.
I am angry!
I never asked for any of this.
I don't want any of this.
It's just too much.
My mind just cannot comprehend.
Oh God, my God, where are You in all this?
Because I have reached my end.
I cannot take any more.
God, can You save me?
Will You...save me?
This living hell is slowly killing me.
My heart is shattered.
My soul is in tatters.
My mind is fractured.
Do You see me down here?
I know I am just one drop of water in an ocean.
But, do I not matter to You any more?
I am overwhelmed.
I am feeling chaotic.
I feel as though I am living an anarchy.
I just want to lay to rest.
Please, let me rest.
Oh, to know peace of mind.
Oh, to know peace of heart and soul.
What is freedom?
Where is love?
God, where are You?
I don't even know where I am.
I don't know who I am any more.
I feel I am tormented and tortured endlessly.
Is this my measure?
Is this my lot?
You have forsaken me.
God, are You there?
God, can You hear me?
I can feel their leers.
I can feel their jeers.
As I take another hit.
And down I go again.
I keep getting back up.
But my strength wanes.
I am racked with pain.
All my harms are choking me.
Squeezing slowly.
God, if You're there, please come and save me.


1 comment:

  1. It's hard to see God in anything when blinded by the sting of endless tears. It feels as though being forsaken. The anger and pain from all the harms are all consuming. They block out God. As for me, I now know that there is hope for saving. God is indeed always there. But I could not see Him when enduring all this hell.


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