My eyes are burning red.
As I burn another line.
This pain is almost bliss.
As I watch the crimson tears flow.
My mind floats away.
I am no longer here.
As I burn another line into my flesh.
And more crimson tears flow.
I am so high.
I have escaped.
At least for now.
But I don't care about that right now.
The devil in my mind is released.
I burn another line into my flesh.
Watching all the crimson tears trace lines down my arms I feel so euphoric.
I can dance on the air.
I swallow some tears.
The taste is hypnotic.
All my cares and woes all melt away.
I am addicted to this feeling.
I swallow this pain.
The lines on my arms.
I drift off.
The dark of sleep takes me.
When I awake I see the fresh wounds.
And look at all the scars.
Those caustic feelings come rushing back at me.
Where's the euphoria now?
As I feel the pain from my self-inflicted wounds.
My mind focuses on them.
That's the pain I'd rather feel.
I'm hoping to escape from the hell I am living in.
I just want to feel something other than that pain.
That pain is eating away at me.
I don't want to die.
But I don't want to live dead either.
God please hear me.
Are You there?
I just want all this pain to go away.
Will You take it away, I don't want it any more?
I'm reaching out to You.
Take these scars and make them beautiful.
Make me beautiful.
Can You do that for me?
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress.(m)