You always know where I am.
You know where I live.
There's nowhere I can hide.
You visit me every day.
Bringing me what I like, what I love.
I've begun to crave it constantly.
You know exactly what it is I need.
You know exactly how to get to me.
No matter how much I hate you.
I hate myself more.
I need to forget, at least for a little while.
The darkness always comes back
after you've gone.
Twisting my mind more than it already is.
I am angry, I am enraged.
I don't want this, but cannot live without it.
I keep craving more and more every day.
There you are, filling my empty hands.
You always laugh at me.
I never know why.
Am I that pathetic?
Maybe I am.
Weak, wrecked, empty and hollow.
I need something to fill that void within me.
Even though it's slowly, painfully
I hate myself for what I do.
I hate myself for the choices I make.
But I feel powerless to change myself.
I cannot escape myself.
I am everywhere I go.
As you are.
Why am I always home when loneliness
comes to visit.
Giving me a hunger that I cannot feed.
A hunger only you can feed.
I hate myself that I give in to you
I know what I am doing, but just
cannot stop myself.
I am miserable, more and more so
I hate myself for it.
Making it worse.
Making my hunger grow.
Is this all that there is for me?
Is this so-called existence what I am damned
Is this the six walled cell my home?
Call me lost.
Call me forsaken.
Call me damned.
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(14/11/2012)