I'm always getting in my own way.
I'm always giving myself up.
I continually betray myself.
I have swallowed myself whole.
I have imprisoned myself.
In a cell of my own making.
Six walls, no windows, no door.
I am my own worst enemy.
I have my own blood on my hands.
I have been getting away with murder
I am afraid to live.
More so, I am afraid to even try.
I call me "failure".
I hate my so-called life.
I hate what I have become.
I don't even know what that is.
I hate who I am.
Whomever that is.
I am here in the middle of nowhere.
Silence is the only thing that I can hear.
And it is deafening!
The sky is always falling down on me.
My world is in ruins all 'round me.
Just rubble and crumbs.
I choke on the dust in the poison air.
As I ingest that same poison, caustic air.
I am saturated.
I suffer and am insufferable.
I spit out the caustic poison.
I am a bio-hazard.
I am quarantined for everyone's safety.
I don't want anyone looking at me.
I don't want anyone anywhere near me.
In this prison cell, there is no escape and no entry.
I just want to be forgotten.
I even want to forget about myself.
I call me forsaken.
And that suits me just fine.
I am the only one free to cause all the harm
No one can harm me here.
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(07/11/2012)