It's so hard for me to see You right now.
Your light has grown so dim.
I have grown so far down.
Nothing is all I know right now.
All I wish I felt.
Truth is, I feel everything.
It all pushes and pulls at me.
I choke on all my cries.
When I reach out all I grasp is empty air.
I am blinded by all my tears.
My fears are all consuming me.
If every ending has a beginning; then
why does everything keep ending for me?
Why does everything keep falling down on me?
There just doesn't seem to be a place for me.
I have forgotten why I am here.
I have lost my purpose.
I have lost my reason.
It's all just too much for me.
I don't even know why any more.
Where did it all go?
Where did I go?
What happened to me?
I hurt so much right now.
It's all making me angry.
I did not ask for any of this.
But here I am.
Freezing and burning at the same time.
All my thoughts are scorched.
All my feelings are tearing me apart.
I just don't want to care any more.
Maybe that would make things better.
Not to care or feel.
I just don't know.
I've come to the end, it seems.
I haven't the strength or the will to go
on any more.
So I will stop here.
I will just fall down.
Here is where I am going to lie.
I will lay me down.
I might as well be buried alive.
I will go on no more.
There is nothing, I am nothing.
Your voice seems to have grown silent.
And the silence is killing me.
Right along with all the noise from the world.
But even with all this I still have hope.
I'm not ready to let go of that just yet.
I guess I'm still hanging on by a frayed thread.
Please hope, don't let me down now.
I need you more than ever right now.
Without you I will cease to exist.
Even though that's how I'm feeling right now.
I will hold onto hope.
May it be the candle flame in the window that
I will always see.
Maybe I will find my way.
Maybe I won't.
But hope says to keep giving it one more try.
I will keep looking for You.
I will keep looking for me.
Down and out, hope keeps lifting me back up.
Whatever the why for all this is.
I just don't care any more.
I just want to let go of everything.
I just want to lay down all my burdens.
I want someone to pick me up and to carry
me far away from here.
Even though I can barely see You.
Even though I can barely hear You.
Hope still whispers Your name.
Somehow I still believe.
Somehow I still have faith.
And hope keeps on.
Hope keeps on.
SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(26/10/2012)