I Close my eyes to the world.
But it never goes anywhere.
Always pushing down on me.
Always crushing me and my hopes.
I wish I could make it all go away.
I wish I could figure all this out.
But I'm never able to.
I am never able to see my way through 
  the rain.
I always get lost in the storms.
I can never get ahead.
I am always held back.
Or is it pushed back?
It doesn't matter.
It's all the same in the end.
I'm always left feeling empty, lost and alone.
I try to tell myself it will all be okay.
Knowing full well that it's not.
These are just some of the lies that I try to 
  pass off as truth.
The sad realization is that I never was okay.
And I probably never will be.
Why even bother?
Why even try?
All those years that I wasted.
All those I pushed away.
It's no wonder I am the way I am.
At least not to me.
And I'm the one I have to live with.
I know I'll never get it right.
Not by myself.
Not on my own.
I'm just not that strong.
I know I will need some help to get through
  all this.
But everyone lies.
Everyone lets me down sooner or later.
So here I am.
Alone with myself.
As I always seem to be.
I wonder, where did I go?
How did I lose myself somewhere along 
  the way?
Where did I go wrong?
Will I ever figure this out?
No one knows.
I sure don't!
Someone please stop the world.
I want to get off.


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