Your words hit me like poisoned darts.
They buried themselves deep into my soul.
They killed me every time.
Don't know why I am still here.
What I do know is that I don't want to be here.
No! Not any more.
My self worth is nil.
I continue hemorrhaging within.
My wounds cannot be cauterized.
The bleeding cannot be stemmed.
Still, I am here.
I don't know why.
I do not want to be.
How do I deserve this?
I don't see the reason.
I don't see the purpose.
What is the meaning in this?
'Cause I just don't see any.
No reason, no purpose, no meaning.
No! Not for my life!
I can feel the knives sticking out of my back.
I know there are footprints on my back.
I have been lied to by everyone.
I have been betrayed by everyone.
Everyone has let me down.
Manipulated, used and abused.
I am empty handed.
Everything's been taken from me.
My heart and soul are left empty and torn to shreds.
Oh, how I ache within.
I just want to let go.
On the edge, it doesn't seem so far down.
Six feet doesn't seem so far down.
I'm alone feeling alone.
Why can't I be left alone?
Just too much.
Just too much for me.
I guess I am just not strong enough.
And here comes another hit.
I don't fight back, I can't fight back.
I am surrounded and outnumbered.
Surrendering doesn't help a single bit.
My white flag is taken and ripped apart.
I am pushed down.
I am underneath, I am smothered.
I can feel the hammer fall down on me
  time after time.
Then I am left behind, alone.
Broken, bruised and beat.
Crying, drowning in my own crimson coloured
Knowing no one cares.
I wish I did not myself.
I just want to feel nothing.
I want to be numb.
Maybe if I cut myself off.
Would it all go away?
I don't know.
I just know I want to feel something other
  than hurt, pain and fear.
Please, make this the end of it all.
The end of it all.


1 comment:

  1. The brutality of abuse. The hopelessness, the hurt, the fear. And, OH, the silence. The true killer.


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