LIFE

I've learned to appreciate life more.
Because I have known what it feels like
  to want to be without it.
I remember the cold.
I remember the emptiness.
And the deep hollow feeling.
I have questioned my reason for being.
I have questioned my meaning.
I almost missed what life was to be for me.
I just saw no reason.
I could not love or forgive myself.
For all the wrongs and harms done.
Much less love or forgive anyone else.
For all the wrongs and harms done.
Anger and rage festered.
I was consumed.
No one understood.
No one was listening.
Including myself.
As I judged myself.
So too I judged everyone else.
And I hated myself.
I was too obsessed with all the 
  hurts and harms done to me.
I let life beat me down.
I am better than this.
I am so much more.
I just would not allow me to see this.
I believed truth was lies and lies to be truth.
I just wanted to die.
It hurt that much.
I tried many times.
To become a statistic.
To become a number in a file lost somewhere.
As was my life.
I did not want this any more.
I found the strength within me.
Rather, that strength found me.
I look at all my scars, withered and angry looking 
  as they are.
I choose to see the beauty in them there.
I have come so far.
I'm not giving up now.
I have gone through so much hell.
I'm not stopping now.
I have been given a life.
I'm not going to let any one take it away from  me.
It's not theirs to take.
Their words are empty and hollow.
I am so far high above all them.
And so far high above all that they are.
They cannot get to me.
I will no longer let them.
They cannot hurt or harm me.
I take it all back here and now!
Life hurts, love hurts.
It can all be overwhelming.
It's choices the govern the outcome.
You can live or let die.
It's all up to you.
You're so much more than you know.
You are not alone in this or anything.
Listen to hope and give it one more try.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(01/12/2012)