I AM THE ONLY GUILTY ONE

In my life I have yet to live.

I'm always getting in my own way.

I'm always giving myself up.

I continually betray myself.

I have swallowed myself whole.

I have imprisoned myself.

In a cell of my own making.

Six walls, no windows, no door.

I am my own worst enemy.

I have my own blood on my hands.

I have been getting away with murder

  for years.

I am afraid to live.

More so, I am afraid to even try.

I call me "failure".

I hate my so-called life.

I hate what I have become.

I don't even know what that is.

I hate who I am.

Whomever that is.

I am here in the middle of nowhere.

Silence is the only thing that I can hear.

And it is deafening!

The sky is always falling down on me.

My world is in ruins all 'round me.

Just rubble and crumbs.

I choke on the dust in the poison air.

As I ingest that same poison, caustic air.

I am saturated.

I suffer and am insufferable.

I spit out the caustic poison.

I am a bio-hazard.

I am quarantined for everyone's safety.

I don't want anyone looking at me.

I don't want anyone anywhere near me.

In this prison cell, there is no escape and no entry.

I just want to be forgotten.

I even want to forget about myself.

I call me forsaken.

And that suits me just fine.

I am the only one free to cause all the harm

  to me.

No one can harm me here.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(07/11/2012)