HARD FOR ME

I try to live my life.
It's so very hard for me.
Why is it so hard?
I see others living.
Why can't I?
The higher I reach out for the further I fall.
I feel dead.
I call my life one unlived.
As I wrestle with myself here.
Life moves on without me.
The whole world is so high above me.
Slowly my grip slips.
I look down into nothing.
That is how I am.
Maybe I should just let go.
It doesn't seem all that far down.
But I don't really want to.
My strength may be waning but I am
  not ready to let go just yet.
As long as there is the most minute measure
 of strength left in me.
I will keep trying.
I know I'm not perfect.
But I will keep trying.
I will keep reaching out.
I still believe in me.
I still believe in hope.
It's all up to me.
The choice is mine.
And only I can decide.
I choose to keep holding on.
Letting go of all unneeded weight that is
  only weighing me down.
No more will I look down.
I fall every time I do.
I will turn my gaze up.
I can feel my hope rise.
I can feel my heart and soul rise too.
I can feel myself begin to soar.
I now believe there is still hope for me.
Keeping in mind that I am still weak.
I am easily fooled.
It's still so easy for me to fall.
I am prone to letting go.
I am prone to falling into the depths.
And I still keep in mind that I am weak here.
I will not think about it any more.
I will do my best to follow my heart.
Even to the very end.
For I know I am not alone.
Even though I sometimes forget.
I am only a simple man after all.
Prone to slipping and falling.
Tending to wander.
It's so very hard for me.
It always will be.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(13/11/2012)