29/04/2012

I DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING

So many days have gone by.
Almost like a blur.
I blinked and it was all gone.
Oh where did it all go?
All those years.
All those tears.
So much has been lost.
So much was taken.
So much was given away.
I just don't know any more.
Just what exactly happened?
Where did I go wrong?
Sometimes I wish I could go back.
And do it all over.
This time I would get it all right.
Or would I?
Would it turn out any different?
Either way I'm not so sure.
All I know is that I did my very best.
I am not perfect.
But I will keep on trying.
I realize all those days have passed.
I will try to let go of them.
I don't want to be over burdened.
Or weighed down.
No more looking back.
So much lies ahead.
So many years are waiting for me.
So many days are still to come.
I will keep my eyes wide open.
I don't want to miss a thing.


(Scott David Buckley-29/04/2012)



27/04/2012

WORLD I KNOW

Innocence is lost.
Bringing only despair.
Choking and suffocating.
But then again.
You cannot miss what you never had.
This is the world I know.
Shoulder to shoulder.
The body bags lay.
The fallen, the heroes.
Forever more the left behind will cry.
Life was taken in an instant.
Now lost, never to return.
This is the world I know.
Redemption's within reach.
Divinely given salvation is at hand.
The broken made whole.
The separated reunited.
The Mighty Rushing Wind brings 
  the fire.
This is the world I know.


(Scott David Buckley-27/04/2012)

MANIPULATION

I am not what you think.
I have been lying to you.
I was getting away with murder.
I hid the blood on my hands well.
I pulled you in.
I fooled you with my charms.
You never even saw me coming.
You let your guard down.
That's when I moved in for the kill.
I made what was yours my own.
And you didn't even know it.
Now it's too late.
There is no getting back what was 
  given away.
You were such an easy target.
I pulled you down.
While whispering in your ear.
You never saw that it was me.
You still deny everything.
You don't want to admit to anything.
But I am telling you the truth.
What once was is now gone.
And it's all on you.
No laying of the blame on me.
You were so willing.
Now I just laugh.
As you continue to dig the hole deeper.
It's no longer me.
You're the one taking you down.
You're the one lying to yourself.
My job here is done.


(Scott David Buckley-27/04/2012)

18/04/2012

ALL THE BROKENNESS

Through all cares into the fire.
Let the wind carry the ashes away.
Burn too your worries.
Let them become charred beyond
  all recognition.
Let your heart be scorched.
And melt your soul.
This will be your baptism in flame.
Refined in the molten matter.
Let your flesh drip from the bone
  and marrow.
All your yesterdays will surely 
  flow away.
With the crimson flow.
Be laid to rest within the pyre.
Put all cold embers to bed in your 
  grave.
They are all bitterness, loathing,
  and retching.
Now swallowed are all the 
  brokenness.


(Scott David Buckley-18/04/2012)

DESTINATION

Solitude is my burden.
I have forsaken all.
I will be taken by separation.
This is my defiance.
This is where I step off.
I have given for the last time.
I will take no more.
I live for the seclusion.
The peace in isolation.
This is my choice.
I will walk alone.
I will die alone.
I cannot be brought to any 
  different. 
I am cut off.
I am bled dry.
Shed no tears.
This is my destination. 


(Scott David Buckley-18/04/2012)

WITH AN ENDING THERE IS A BEGINNING

Agony is nothing new to me.
Suffering is my lot in life.
I will bear it all proud.
For there is strength in my weakness.
The cold of pain will swallow me.
The knife in my heart will be twisted 
  again and again.
Some wounds just never heal.
I will slip on my own blood covered 
  floor.
In death there is a kind of living.
As I am cut.
I will lay me down.
Into the polluted water.
This is life for me.
I will fight for every breath.
No matter how crushingly it 
  pain racks me.
The light will surely wash over me.
This I will proclaim.
Bring me the end, I will march forth
  with new beginning.


(Scott David Buckley-18/04/2012)

RESISTANCE

The cold winds blow.
Bringing the hollow to sight.
This is a fight to the death.
I will not hold back.
I will not duck my head.
I will stand up bold.
There is no final to this.
This is do or die.
And I will stand head strong.
Call out my name.
I will hang you high.
Your blood will boil cold.
For a final breath I will push forward.
I will not be deterred.
My hate will bury you.
This is the shredding of what you 
  asked for.
No more, no more, no more!
Resist, resist, resist, resist!
To the very end.
I will last.
Resistance is my aim, my mandate.


(Scott David Buckley-18/04/2012)
  

16/04/2012

We're About To Take The World: Welcome to The Main Event

We're About To Take The World: Welcome to The Main Event: We’ve never wanted our shows to be normal. In fact, we strive to make them exciting, passionate, bold, and inspiring. We don’t want our con...

FOR THE HEALING

You were here.
Then you were not.
Not a word was uttered.
No good-bye.
You just up and left.
Taking my heart for you with you.
Now I have a hole deep within me.
Like a flower that withers in the light.
There is no bringing me back to life.
My voice becomes a whimper.
I cry an endless river of tears.
For you and I were not finished.
I am feeling so hopeless.
This is not how it is supposed to be.
I wanted so much more.
Just to come beside you and find some
  peace for us.
So much was said and done between us.
All the wounds.
All the torment and horror.
I was trying to cross the burning bridge.
But I was always getting burned.
So I just gave up.
Now it is too late to start over.
To go back to where it all started.
To make a new go of it.
Maybe it was never meant to be.
Am I being judged for what I did
  and for what I did not?
I have only anger for myself.
I am branded guilty.
But, of what good does all this serve?
I feel so forsaken.
I feel myself falling into the endless pit.
Water is poured onto the phoenix.
My angel watching over me has fallen.
And my gaze is closing.
I am so lost now.
All that I wanted for us has become 
  a wasted dream.
A kind of nightmare.
I never wanted you to go.
I never even thought you ever would.
But, here I am all alone.
With a bleeding heart and soul.
Are you looking down on me?
I cannot see you.
I cannot hear you.
I cannot feel you.
This is a hell.
That I do not want to be in.
I have fallen into my grave.
For you are dead for me.
And it will go untitled.
Will any of this give way?
Will this give a way?
I need you here now.
I need you now!
You were, now no more.
Did I pass up my one and only
  opportunity?
Will I ever get a second chance?
Am I dwelling on something toxic
  to me?
But, how can I let go?
I just do not know.
It would be so much easier.
Almost easier.
If you were still here.
I am reaching out now for thin air.
All my hopes are thrown onto this.
I am praying this will go through.
I will die to have this work out for us.
Please do not let go of me.
A flame will burn in the broken 
  window.
I will surely find my way to where 
  you are.
I pray for the comfort.
I pray for the healing.
I pray for self-forgiveness.
You went home.
Soon I will follow, for sure.
I just need to know that you loved me 
  and that you still do.
Do you know that I loved you and 
  I still do.
You and I are, and always will be, one.
I will follow your life.
I will be you.
You have become me.
And I have hope for eternity shared.
For I am assured of my own home 
  there.
Oh, I can hear you whispering to me.
I can feel your hand gripping mine.
Oh, I know, I know, I know.
You never left.
Your grave is empty.
For you have been made whole.
No more sorrow.
No more suffering.
No more fighting.
I am so grateful for knowing you.
All and everything has been washed
  under the burning bridge.
Now charred coals.
But still standing.
And if I come this way again.
I know I am on the right way.
Oh Father in Heaven.
Watch over me.
Keep me safe and warm.
Never let me think I had lost hope
  and love.
Bring me home to share with my
  earthly father.
And to be never guilty of his sin again.
I am journeying for tomorrow.
Thank you for being with me.
Thank you for loving me.
You are still here with me.
Blessed.


(Scott David Buckley-16/04/2012)

15/04/2012

ETCHED AND CARVED

There are lines on my arms.
Etched there for all of time.
They are words to be read.
They are a voice whispering
  in the cold of the dark.
Scars that once wept.
They are tracings of the pain
  racking me.
These lines draw a map.
To the divine redemption allowed me.
A light  pierces the pitch coloured night.
These are a reminder of the despair.
That led me to right here.
They are not pretty, but 
  they are beautiful.
My rapture.
These are the verses of a broken life.
A raspy voice of some kind of hope.
And love cuts.
Love bleeds.
Then there comes the comfort of
  the healing.
I shed the old skin.
To give breath to the new skin.
Cut wide open.
Told of in these the endless ions.
The crimson lines so deep 'neath 
  the surface.
Breathing once again.
There is hope, faith, and love 
  written on my arms.
This is my carving.
A testament of my long, 
  arduous sojourning.
With these cuts I do bleed.
Letting me breathe.
From one moment to the next.
All linked as one.
With these I lay down.
As the light washes over me.
Taking these stains.
And making them an offering.
Becoming a blessing.
These are the lines on my arms.
Bled.


(Scott David Buckley-15/04/2012)

SEARCH TO BE FOUND

I search for the forever.
The light within me.
I search for the release.
The hope calling my name.
I search for the salvation.
That's been haunting me.
That just will not let me be.
I search for the redemption.
That I have absorbed.
This is the long and short of it.
All that I cannot live without.
My heart and soul are longing.
For that which is in my feeble grasp.
I search for the searching.
Where I will surely be found.


(Scott David Buckley-15/04/2012)

I WAS ONCE YOU

You cannot see yourself.
Your life is dying.
And you don't even know it.
Do not try to put anything on me.
I do not live your life.
I will not accept any blame.
I am not the cause here.
The burden of responsibility is not
  mine.
Take it all in.
I know you will choke as you swallow.
You are the snake trying to devour
  a deer.
It's going to be your demise.
All I can do is watch and pray.
This time it's all up to you.
As it always has been.
Don't take anything for granted.
For it will always come back 
  down on you.
I will cry for you no more.
As you go your own way.
Alone and scared.
I know this all too well.
For I was once you.
I will not tell you which way to go.
It is for you to find.
I just pray you find it before 
  it's too late.


(Scott David Buckley-15/04/2012)

11/04/2012

SPIRIT LOST

I can hear you screaming.
You are inside my head.
You have me in your claws.
You are the beating of my heart.
You are the poison I am swallowing.
You are the toxic air I am breathing.
You are coursing through my veins.
Your grip on me is complete.
I am yours.
I am you.
You are me.
I am choking.
I am suffocating.
I am bleeding from within.
I am crumbling.
I will succumb.
You are the cracking of my mind.
The tearing of my heart.
The death of my soul.
You are the closing of the gallows.
The battening of  the hatches.
And the taking of the sails in the
  roaring winds.
You have opened me up.
Turned me inside out.
Sucking me dry.
There is gnashing of the bones.
Ripping of the flesh.
And gouging of the eyes.
Cast me off.
Leave me to die.
Think of me no more.
I am just a whisper on the breeze.
Just a faded name etched 
  on a stone.
I am a once was
  become a never was.
A spirit lost.


(Scott David Buckley-11/04/2012)

10/04/2012

THE TALE THAT NEVER WAS, NEVER IS, NEVER WILL BE

I lay awake.
Visions haunt me.
Of long ago.
Voices taunt me.
My mind is pierced.
I've nowhere to go.
I cannot escape.
Chains shackle me down.
Pulled right taught.
Is this how it will always be?
Because it already seems so.
My anger burns hot within me.
My hatred begins to boil over.
As I fall in whole.
Endlessly I go.
Seems like forever.
Where is my rock bottom?
Why is it that it all keeps coming back?
Why can't I have a moments rest?
This is causing damage.
Way beyond repair.
Does it really matter?
I am beginning to not care at all.
I stare off into the nothing.
I am in a daze.
Pull me over.
But I am already there.
I try to sedate me.
I try to numb me.
But my feelings betray me every time.
They're everywhere.
What is peace of mind?
Or is it piece of mind?
I just don't know any more.
I spin around endlessly.
Throwing me into a state of dizzy.
As it all comes down upon me.
I cannot help but to cry.
This isn't the way I want to be.
But I am a prisoner to my own pain.
It swallows all of me.
And it never satisfies.
I cry out to the angels;
  "Please come save me!"
But no one's there.
And if there were I don't think anyone
  would care.
My halo's tarnished.
Discoloured with oxidation.
My wings burnt down to the stubs.
My garments all torn and dirty.
What will become of me?
Will I be able to hold out?
But don't you ask me.
Why would I know?
Just continue to turn from me.
You are me in disguise.
All's been taken from me.
Now my hands are empty but bloody.
But for the scars.
That I wear proudly.
They're all I have left.
Like blisters healed.
Making me that much stronger.
I try to convince myself.
Then I cut me.
Just to see myself bleed.
I know it's an act of will.
My past remains with me still.
I roll over and tumble into my grave.
This is my home.
A prison of my own making.
Cover me over.
 Bury me deep.
For there's no returning.
Now I will close the door.
Locking it from within and without.
I will set my bridge ablaze.
There's no going back to lucidity,
  nor sanity.
My life's in anarchy.
Everything will be razed 
  to the ground.
There is no more of hope.
It is foreign.
I cannot, will not return.
I'm too far gone.
I am covered in corrosion.
It consumes me, this rust.
It is a caustic acid.
Like black rain falling down 
  upon me.
Freezing me from within.
Or is it from without?
Turn another blank page.
There's nothing to tell.
Of my fall from grace.
I can hear you mock me.
Like fingers 'round my throat.
Squeezing slow and sure.
Hear me choking.
See my sight hazing over.
Soon to go all black.
Take me out.
Let me fade.
I weather and I wither.
No wisdom with my age.
All that was green with life.
Slowly turns to black of death.
I do not look back.
I do not look ahead.
I do not look down.
I do not look up.
Mine eyes have been gouged 
  from my skull.
Such a deep sleep.
Such a deep trance.
I lie to myself.
And believe it's all true.
"You can just shut it!"
  I yell to myself.
I'm not listening anyhow.
Close the book.
Tear out another page.
Light it on fire.
Erase me from history.
None will remember me.
Just a silly tale.
Meant to scare.
Sure as I am, I am not.
Never was, never is, 
  never will be.


(Scott David Buckley-10/04/2012)

09/04/2012

CUT SO DEEP

I am damaged.
There are scratches on my soul.
My heart is beaten.
I am falling apart.
I have endured all the battles.
Only to lose the war.
I am falling off.
Dying just to live.
My name is cast away.
I do not recognize this self.
And there's a broken man in a broken 
  mirror.
My stare is blank.
I breathe poison air.
I have become blind with a caustic 
  vision.
What will be.
Will become never will be.
My heart is suffocating.
I have lost this man.
So very far away.
So far down.
And the darkness of despair swallowed 
  me whole.
I'm the one choking on it.
I see myself continue to slowly bleed.
As my life drains away.
I am beginning to fade.
Righteous I will never be.
My grasp on it all is slipping.
How can I hold onto something 
  not there?
Someone stole my hope.
Or did I give it away?
Either way I have gone.
And it's a one way go around.
Far from here.
Empty and down.
This ocean has become a desert.
Population zero.
Mine eyes have witnessed the invisible.
I have to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Then I cry as I realize my reality.
I will carry me down.
Don't you follow me down.
I will lay in this my grave.
This is where I was born.
I would burn all these scars away.
But they have been cut too deep 
  into me.
This is where I will find myself.
Nowhere for eternity.


(Scott David Buckley-09/04/2012)

I WAS HERE

No point on waiting for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is never going to come.
I'm drowning in my sorrow.
So many voices do I hear.
I am buried beneath them.
My voice is just a whisper.
The silence is deafening.
I will go now.
Turn off the lights.
Close the door.
No one will know that I was ever here.


(Scott David Buckley-09/04/2012)

HOLLOW

These are my arms.
Bearing the scars I etched there.
They tell a story.
Which I don't really want to share.


These are my eyes.
From which crimson tears flow.
Oh how they sting.
I close my eyes to hide the red outlines.


This is my heart.
Broken and shattered.
I just watch as it bleeds out.
Someone ripped it from my sleeve.


This is my soul.
Torn to shreds.
Carried away like dust on the wind.
I have become oh so hollow.


(Scott David Buckley-09/04/2012)

MONSTER I AM

Hopes are drawing thin.
As I try to make my way through this
  hell I'm in.


These scars I see.
Remind me of what I've come to be.


A monster I am!


I look at what's come down.
I see all within begin to drown.


Nothing's left again.
I forget where I have been.


A monster I am!


Look away from me!
Turn away from me!


A monster I am!


(Scott David Buckley-09/04/2012)

08/04/2012

BORN TO DIE (IT IS FINISHED!)

Born in a humble setting.
A little babe, completely helpless.
A pure white lamb.
As He grew, He grew in great
  knowledge and wisdom.
When He spoke all listened.
Oh so few heard.
With a sweep of His hand He
  governed the elements.
Even the demons obeyed His command.
For this He was hated.
The only crime He was guilty of
  was speaking truth.
He called Himself the Son of Man.
He called Himself the Son of God.
He said He came not to lead but to 
  serve.
He was radical.
He was a rebel.
Those in power feared Him.
For they did not want to lose that power.
Secretly they plotted against Him.
His fate was sealed.
For it was foretold.
He was betrayed by a brother.
For cheap pieces of silver.
The Son of Man was led before a man.
The Son of Man was judged guilty
  by a man.
The Son of Man was beaten and
  tortured by men.
The Son of Man was led away to the 
  Skull by men.
The Son of Man was nailed to a tree
  by a man.
A man hoisted the tree up with the Son 
  of Man hanging from it.
The Rose then withered and died.
The sky grew black as pitch.
A fissure cracked straight through the
  blood soaked ground.
The veil of man was rent in two and 
  fell to the ground.
God anguished over His one and 
  only Son.
The grave opened its mouth wide
  and swallowed Him.
He then descended down to Hell.
Oh how Lucifer screamed like a 
  little girl.
Jesus took back the keys of Life and 
  Death.
Death was defeated that day.
When the borrowed tomb was found 
  empty.
He was not stolen.
The angel proclaimed Him risen.
"Oh little children do not be afraid,
  He is not here He is alive!"
Then came the mighty rushing wind.
A flame danced above their heads.
The promise of a Comforter was 
  kept.
See Him now, scars on each wrist
  and ankles.
See Him now ascend back to Heaven.
Back to His throne of glory on His 
  Father's right hand.
Glory, glory in the highest!
How great He is!
So awesome and powerful.
The grave could not keep Him.
Death has lost its sting.
With Christ's death we too have died.
With Christ's ressurection we too have
  risen.
No more death.
No more sorrow.
No more tears for they have been wiped 
  away.
The prophesy now fulfilled.
He is the Messiah.
The Saviour of slaves.
Now slaves no more.
One promise was left with His brothers
  and sisters.
He has foretold His return.
This time with mighty, Divine rage.
He will set fire to all the lands.
All the nations of Earth will fall.
And we will fly away up through
  the heavens.
Once the Lamb led to the slaughter.
Now the mighty, royal Lion.
Jesus has brought a new Covenant.
The separation now made complete.
With love surrounding.
With love penetrating.
With love saturating.
On wings of eagles we will soar.
Up so far above the angels.
Our debt has been paid in full.
He sacrificed Himself so that we would
  not have to.
Through Him we have been saved
  by love and grace alone.
I for one will stand and be recognized.
I will lift up His Holy Name above all.
Oh Hosanna!
Immanuel!
Alpha and Omega!
Who was, who is, and who will be 
  again.
Saviour, Redeemer!
Forever First Love!
He left the ninety-nine to come for
  the one.
All for love.
For the proud and the meek.
For the strong and the weak.
For the sound minded and the afflicted.
For the sinner.
For the liers, the thieves, the
  murderers, and the molesters. 
He went into the dark places.
He walked the back streets and the 
  alley ways.
Where most men are afraid to wander.
God is good!
God is great!
Jesus proclaimed: "It is finished!"


(Scott David Buckley-08/04/2012)





  

06/04/2012

WHISPER TO A SCREAM

I will stand.
The hammer will fall.
I will make voice as thunder.
Rage is in my stare.
My wrath will be loosed.
Stand back, stand out of my way.
Feel my righteous fury.
My hate will fall down upon you.
I will not be called slave any more.
This is my restitution.
This is my salvation.
As I rise.
My whisper will become a scream.
I am mighty.
I am power.
I will bring retribution.
I will raze all to the ground.
And this fire will spread throughout.
No more will I look down.
No more will I be made to bow.
Just try and bend me, I will not break.
I will no longer defend.
For I will be an offensive.
And I will bring you down.
This is your end.
I am no longer yours.
I never was yours.
They were all just lies.
I have taken back what is mine.
You are no more!


(Scott David Buckley-05/04/2012)