CUT SO DEEP

I am damaged.
There are scratches on my soul.
My heart is beaten.
I am falling apart.
I have endured all the battles.
Only to lose the war.
I am falling off.
Dying just to live.
My name is cast away.
I do not recognize this self.
And there's a broken man in a broken 
  mirror.
My stare is blank.
I breathe poison air.
I have become blind with a caustic 
  vision.
What will be.
Will become never will be.
My heart is suffocating.
I have lost this man.
So very far away.
So far down.
And the darkness of despair swallowed 
  me whole.
I'm the one choking on it.
I see myself continue to slowly bleed.
As my life drains away.
I am beginning to fade.
Righteous I will never be.
My grasp on it all is slipping.
How can I hold onto something 
  not there?
Someone stole my hope.
Or did I give it away?
Either way I have gone.
And it's a one way go around.
Far from here.
Empty and down.
This ocean has become a desert.
Population zero.
Mine eyes have witnessed the invisible.
I have to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Then I cry as I realize my reality.
I will carry me down.
Don't you follow me down.
I will lay in this my grave.
This is where I was born.
I would burn all these scars away.
But they have been cut too deep 
  into me.
This is where I will find myself.
Nowhere for eternity.


(Scott David Buckley-09/04/2012)