LEARN TO LOVE AND FORGIVE (BELIEVE)

There you are trying to hide again.

There is rain falling from your eyes again.

You're drowning.

You are torn and shattered.

Your heart is left in tatters again.

You try to wipe those rain drops away.

You'd give anything just to be somewhere else.

Your life here is one storm after another.

It seems as if life is always raging against you.

You live in fear constantly.
You never know what's going to be coming down on you next.
The hurt and pain are constant.
You keep your cries to yourself.
You don't want anyone seeing your harms and scars.
You cannot take the ridicule.
So you live in silence.
Never letting your feelings and emotions show.
But every now and again you end up falling apart despite your best efforts.
No one understands.
No one seems to care.
You are just one big target for them.
It all eats away at you like a cancer.
You've no hope for a better day, much less better days.
Life for you is an open grave.
But you never rest in peace.
You try to swallow everything everyone throws at you.
But you choke on everything, every time.
You don't know how to hold on or let go.
You don't even know the difference.
You always keep to yourself deep within.
You try to avoid everyone and everything.
You want nothing to do with anyone or anything.
Who can blame you?
Considering the state of your so-called life.
You try to keep your cracked mind together, without much success.
You are slowly dying within, or you already are.
You wonder if it will ever end.
You wonder if everything will just go away.
You have lost all hope and faith.
And you know nothing of love.
Empty and nothing are you.
You are growing numb.
That just makes you so angry.
What's the reason for your life then?
You see no purpose.
You don't know what your life's for.
All you know is that you hurt everyday that you awake.
You cry yourself asleep every night.
No one even knows.
Would it help if someone did?
Would they just be feeling sorry for you.
Such a poor excuse for a person.
You just don't see your beautiful heart.
You don't see your beautiful soul.
As far as you're concerned you are ugly inside and out.
That is such a shame.
Because that could not be further from the truth.
The rain pouring from your eyes is blinding you.
You feel so worthless.
You feel incapable.
You feel separate.
You feel forgotten and forsaken.
You do not realize that your feelings are lying to you.
You believe everyone is right.
You are nothing and unimportant.
You see no way out.
Freedom is too far out of reach.
In your mind you believe there is no escape for you.
Not now, not ever.
You cannot forgive yourself nor can you love yourself.
No one else does after all.
So why should you.
The lies are consuming you from the inside out.
You only see one last way out.
You only see one last resort for you.
You're ready to give up.
You're ready to give in.
Will you poison yourself?
Will you dangle yourself?
Will you draw lines across your wrists?
If you could only see just how much you are loved.
If you could only see just how beautiful you truly are.
But you already feel you are dead.
You feel as though you don't exist nor have you ever.
Words seem like a waste.
You are not going to believe nor listen.
It's your choice to make.
Please, just choose carefully.
There is so much for you in life.
You just don't see it.
You are worth so much more than the sum you think you are.
You just do not believe it.
If only you could know that there is someone you can lean on.
There is someone who understands.
There is someone who will always hold you close and will never let you go.
Never will you be let down.
Just close your eyes and open your broken heart.
You can be healed.
Your innocence lost can be yours once again.
All that was stolen will be returned.
You can be made whole again.
You are loved by a love that will lift you and carry you up and away.
A love so high above everything.
All you need do is believe.
Then feel yourself begin to soar.
Up above all of the heavens.
There is more than one last resort for you.
You can be born again.
A new life awaits you.
Remember that you are NOT alone!
Not in this, not in anything.
You are not the only one who feels as you do.
Because I do.
I am you.
I've gone to the edge and almost stepped out and off.
But I was pulled back from the brink.
I am slowly learning to forgive and love myself for the first time, again.
You can too.
Just believe.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY