MAYBE TODAY

I swallow the pills hoping beyond hope
   that they will stop the pain.
They never do.
The noise in my head just gets louder.
Drowning out my inner voice.
Still I take them.
I wonder if I am me any more.
My mind's just not the same any more.
But that's not saying it's something I haven't
   experienced before.
Is peace of mind too much to ask for?
Too much to expect.
Because my fragmented mind keeps caving in.
Burying me.
As my heartstrings all snap.
And I fall downward helplessly.
Is there anything to keep this from happening?
Because I'm sure not able to.
I want to give in.
I am so very weary.
Of me, of the poison I have to swallow everyday.
Maybe it's me, but I feel so helpless, 
   I just do not know.
My mind's so fogged in.
I can't tell up from down.
Still the pills go down my throat.
Maybe today they will do some good.
Maybe today I will do some good.
Both unreliable.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(01/03/2013)