GOD, ARE YOU THERE? (THE START OF LIFE FOR ME)

My heart is sinking.
Lungs are filling with water.
Bleeding out through the gash in my soul.
I am going under.
Deeper and deeper.
I swallow everything that is covering me.
Everything that is pulling and pushing me
   down.
My hands are tied behind my back.
Weights are tied to my ankles.
A noose is tightened around my neck.
My eyes have been sewn shut.
And concrete poured into my ears.
It's no wonder that I feel as I do.
Everything is hopeless.
Despair has taken over me.
There is nowhere for me to go other than
   down.
And I am sinking.
Another fathom after another fathom.
Am I lost?
Hey, there's a man overboard!
Has anyone noticed?
Does anyone care?
Is there any rescue coming?
Or will I disappear into the cold, dark
   depths.
All this is killing me.
Hey, can anyone hear me?
As I choke down some more.
And sink deeper still.
God, are You there?
I am alone, dying here.
No one here seems to care.
God, are You there?
I'm not ready to die.
I do not want to die.
No, not just yet!
Can You come and save me?
No one here certainly is not going to save
   me.
You are the one I am trusting.
You are all that is left here with me.
Everyone else has deserted me.
Left me to die.
Your light continued to shine down to me.
Giving me hope.
You broke all my bindings.
You breathed life back into me.
Lifted me up out of the depths.
Brought me back out of the darkness.
Gave me the strength I needed.
Now I stand on my own two feet.
No thanks to the world.
I owe nothing to you.
But I am angry.
I am coming for you.
I will be your last regret.
I will be your biggest regret.
There is power in me.
Electricity courses through me.
I will lash out at you.
I will set you aflame.
I will watch you burn.
I will watch as you become ash.
I will kick you into the wind.
I will turn and walk away.
I will leave you behind.
Never giving you a second thought.
I will live.
I will live my life.
I am alive!
Given life by the One who gives life.
Life eternal.
Not by my merit or any choice of mine.
You alone, my Lord, saved me by Your
   grace.
You chose me.
Your love did not fail me.
Your love was, as always, right on time!

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY