HOPE IN FAITH

I believe there is still hope for this world.
God has not forsaken us yet.
Even though we have rebelled against Him.
He has held steadfast.
Remaining true to Himself.
He has remained faithful.
His love is true.
His grace is without end.
I have fallen many times.
I am all covered in blood red mud and mire.
I can hardly tell it's me.
I am the prodigal one.
Who has wandered far and wide.
To the four corners of this earth.
I lived foolishly.
Now all I have is nothing.
I am standing before my Father cold,
  and naked.
He does not turn any away.
For He loves us so.
He moves all Heaven and Earth just
  to get to any one who is lost and alone.
Faithful til the end.
This is the hope I hold onto.
This the hope that this world needs.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(30/08/2012)

HOLD ON, LET GO

Here I am all alone.
Holding on for all I'm worth.
It isn't much but it's all I can do.
I don't want to fall.
I have gone down too many times.
I'm all worn and bloody.
I cannot take any more.
Please, please.
Will someone take a hold of me?
Here I am alone still.
Desperate to let go.
I cannot carry all this weight.
I am trapped beneath it all.
I am suffocating.
I am hemorrhaging.
I choke all my tears down.
Here I am.
So afraid, I am shaking.
As I come apart.
Someone please, rescue me.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(29/08/2012)

PSALM 93:2-4

2--YOUR THRONE WAS ESTABLISHED LONG AGO;
   YOU ARE FROM ALL ETERNITY.

3--THE SEAS HAVE LIFTED UP, OH LORD,
   THE SEAS HAVE LIFTED UP THEIR VOICE;
   THE SEAS HAVE LIFTED UP THEIR POUNDING
      WAVES.
4--MIGHTIER THAN THE THUNDER OF THE GREAT
      WATERS,
      MIGHTIER THAN THE BREAKERS OF THE
      SEA--
   THE LORD ON HIGH IS MIGHTY!

WANDERLUST

Wandering through this life.
With no direction.
Aimlessly walking.
Following the nowhere.
This is here.
On the crooked path.
Holding onto hope with all
  that I am.
That may not be much.
But it's all I have.
I constantly gaze at the heavens above.
I am filled with wonder.
With all the questions yet to have any
  answers.
And when I cannot go on.
When I fall and don't want to
  get back up.
Faith lifts me back to my broken feet.
Faith carries me on.
When I need to find understanding.
Faith is a voice of reason.
But I still haven't found what I am looking for.
So I sojourn on.
My eyes fixed on the horizon.
Watching the stars in my night-time sky.
I feel my hope rise.
My faith move.
This prodigal son will find a place all his own.
A place to call home.
This is what my heart wants.
This is what my soul seeks.
To find rest, to rest assured.
To find peace for my fractured mind.
Please; will You carry me from here?
I haven't the will to continue on.
I haven't the strength to even stand.
All my hope rests with You.
All my faith reaches for You.
Oh Lord, take me far away from here.
Take me far away from me.
Fill this emptiness in me.
Erase all doubt.
You are what I am looking for.
You are what I am reaching for.
I believe I will find me again
  for the first time.
When I find You.
My wanderlust pushes me,
  pulls me still.
I lose sight.
But somehow I know You have not
  of me.
So, where do I go from here?

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY(27/08/2012)

THIRD ACT: CONCLUSION (END)

I have become so tired.
My will to continue is waning.
My tears have frozen my eyes shut.
I find myself down on my hands and knees.
My raw and bloody hands and knees.
You can read the fear on my face.
Despair my constant companion.
I lay down to die.
As I slide into my grave.
I just cannot take any more.
My cries have gone unanswered 
  for too long.
My strength has let me down once again.
Just let me sleep now.
Let me hide my head beneath it all.
I do not want any more.
Let me go now.
Put me down now.
Cancel this life.
I do not want this miserable existence.
This forsaken existence.
I am so far gone.
Blessings are now my curse.
Barbs wrap 'round my heart.
Thorns pierce my soul.
I am no longer me.
I have lost myself.
The fire in me has burnt
  itself out.
Ashes have fallen down.
The embers have become cold, frozen.
This is my conclusion.
This is my end.
No more pages to turn.
Close me now.
Place me up out of the way.
And forget about me.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(24/08/2012)

PRAYER

"Lord, there is nothing I want from You, other than that you bless and comfort the lonely and the broken. Pour Your love into their heart that they may know Your unmeasurable peace, boundless grace, and unfailing love. Amen."

ENSLAVED

I am a slave.
I follow after my own means.
I am deaf.
Wisdom's voice is stilled within me.
I stand 'neath the fallen night.
With frozen tears burning my face.
I live in stasis.
As the years go on endlessly.
Anxiety of the soul is the noose I wear.
My will imprisons me.
With key in hand.
I cannot escape.
My mind cries out for vengeance.
As fingers wrap 'round my throat.
Watch me falter.
Watch me flail.
I will go down, go down hard.
I will be thrown aside, left behind.
Forgotten, forsaken.
Judgement will crush my heart 
  into oblivion.
My fate is sealed.
The Reaper has come to claim me.
I have become the living dead.
Damned.
As the flames lick at my feet.
Will I be left as the refuse I am?
Is this my portion?
Uncertainty is my curse.
Will despair finally claim me?
Will the darkness become my kin?
I look ahead only to see my questions
  fall to the crimson ground.
Sin reigns over me.
I am a slave.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(23/08/2012)

There is a thing that is good and right in a man's eyes, that doesn't make it so.

INVISIBLE

You can run.
You can hide.
But, you are not invisible.
You can hold onto your pain.
You can hold onto your hurt.
You can hold onto your anger.
God knows.
God sees.
You are not alone.
Not now.
Not ever.
Close your eyes.
You will see.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(22/08/2012)

UNTITLED

Separated.
Exclusive.
Hidden.
Terrorized.
Oppressed.
Obsessed.
Paranoid.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(22/08/2012) 

BURN!

 This is my life!
I am going to set it off.
Going to stand back and watch it burn.
I will see it ignite.
I will see the sparks rise and spread.
I will set the whole world on fire.
There is no stropping this raging fire.
A mighty rushing wind.
I will surround.
I will engulf.
I will consume.
Step to me.
Stand against me.
Know that I will raze you to the ground.
I inhale the flames.
I exhale the flames.
I am rising from the former ashes.
I will let the embers fly.
You will not escape me.
My rage will come down on you.
I am so alive!
ALIVE!
ALIVE!
ALIVE!

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(22/08/2012)

LOVE HURTS

Life is a battlefield.
Day to day.
With no hope for the end anywhere
  in sight.
Prayers left unopened, unanswered, 
  unheard.
Living is a constant barrage.
The cries of the dying are deafening.
But still it continues endlessly.
Life is a stalemate.
Brutal, harsh, damning.
The skies are scorched blood red.
The air is acrid.
Breathing in poison, caustic.
Life is barren.
Doom of the soul.
Filthy, marred.
Absent of light.
Scavenged, rotting, decayed.
An open grave swallowing.
Stagnant.
Constant horror, terror.
Tortured, sadistically.
The rape of the heart.
Twisted and bent.
Our tears have saturated the ground.
We crawl on bloody hands and knees.
Heads held low.
Racked with pain.
Wrapped in a cloak of suffering.
Minds are rent in two.
Lucidity surrenders.
Paranoia, rampant.
All are mad.
Despair reigns supreme.
Life is a genocide of suicide.
Cut wide open, bleeding out.
Masochism.
The blade traces slowly.
Driven deep.
Torn.
Love, foreign.
Enigma.
Love hurts.
Love hurts.
The last resort used.
Take in the stench of existence.
Heave, wretched.
Tear flesh from flesh.
Scavengers feast.
Constant.
Life becomes elusive.
Vague.
Purged of such.
Life equals death.
The dirt beneath the dirt beneath the dirt.
Quashed.
No more, no more...

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(20/08/2012)

THE TEARS THAT I AM

I am crying.
Crying alone in the dark of the night.
Tears fall down.
Drowning me in my own worthlessness.
Far away, separated.
Withdrawn, segregated.
My silence is deafening.
Tearing my soul.
With my heart all ragged.
I am cut and bleeding.
I am shattered.
With the shards strewn about on the ground.
I am stained with pain and shame.
Sorrow chokes me.
I am fading into black.
Do not look for me, I am gone.
Oh so far gone.
Do not follow me.
Follow me down, down, down.
The shadows are swallowing me whole.
Night is falling down on me.
The cold is damning me.
I am falling.
Falling deep down within myself.
With no end in sight.
I am hopelessness.
I am faithlessness.
I am wretchedness.
Forsaken, I am forlorn.
 These are the tears that I have become.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(19/08/2012)

3-Fold Cord: The Big Let Down

3-Fold Cord: The Big Let Down: Mark and I promised after our last extended hiatus that we wouldn’t leave you high and dry again. Then we delivered you 2 blogs and disapp...

SOMEONE STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF

I Close my eyes to the world.

But it never goes anywhere.

Always pushing down on me.

Always crushing me and my hopes.

I wish I could make it all go away.

I wish I could figure all this out.

But I'm never able to.

I am never able to see my way through 

  the rain.

I always get lost in the storms.

I can never get ahead.

I am always held back.

Or is it pushed back?

It doesn't matter.

It's all the same in the end.

I'm always left feeling empty, lost and alone.

I try to tell myself it will all be okay.

Knowing full well that it's not.

These are just some of the lies that I try to 

  pass off as truth.

The sad realization is that I never was okay.

And I probably never will be.

Why even bother?

Why even try?

All those years that I wasted.

All those I pushed away.

It's no wonder I am the way I am.

At least not to me.

And I'm the one I have to live with.

I know I'll never get it right.

Not by myself.

Not on my own.

I'm just not that strong.

I know I will need some help to get through

  all this.

But everyone lies.

Everyone lets me down sooner or later.

So here I am.

Alone with myself.

As I always seem to be.

I wonder, where did I go?

How did I lose myself somewhere along 

  the way?

Where did I go wrong?

Will I ever figure this out?

No one knows.

I sure don't!

Someone please stop the world.

I want to get off.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(08/08/2012)

YOU DON'T KNOW

You can't tell me anything.
You don't know.
You can't teach me anything.
You don't know.
You can't lead me anywhere.
You don't know.
You can't show me anything.
You don't know.
This is my life. 
And you don't know.

Scott David Buckley-(07/08/2012)

ENTOMBED

My heart is stained red.

Covered in scar tissue.

It beats with silence.

But screams on the inside.

It is torn from the torture.

And is bleeding out.

The pain is insufferable.

Tears cut caustic wounds.

They infect my soul.

I swallow the poison.

That I breath in.

A broken arrow pierces my mind.

It slices just like a knife.

I hear whispers through the cracks in the floor. 

This is the prison that I live in.

I created it myself.

Six walls surround me.

No windows with bars to let the light in.

And no door that gives hope of freedom.

I huddle in the corner shaking.

My face hidden.

My fingers gouge holes in my eyes.

Blinding me from the inside out.

I sink down within myself.

My tongue ripped out.

Leaving me with no voice.

I am alone with my madness.

I hear the voices that are not there.

Voices of despair.

They run me through.

Letting the darkness surround me.

The cold entombs me.

As I fall asleep.

Scott David Buckley-(05/08/2012)

MY FINAL STAND

I am never alone.
I am forever in safe harbour.
Safe from the storm surge.
No waters can come and drown me.
I can be bent but I will not break.
No way, no how!
I will fight for everything.
I'm not going down.
This is where I will make my final stand.
You will come to me?!
No! I will come to you.
I am not afraid to stand in the middle of the storm.
Your schemes will only serve to make me stronger.
You can push me down but you cannot hold me down.
I will arise again and again.
I will not back down.
I will not back away.
I will not turn my back and run away.
I will stand and be counted.
Under these darkened blood red skies I will fight till the death.
That's when I will become more powerful than you ever dreamed.
You are not worthy of my notice.
You are lower than even the dirt 'neath the dirt.
I will not fear you.
You will fear me.
I spit in your face.
Take notice of me.
You better run while you can.
Do not turn away or you will become the fallen one that you already are.
I will fight down on my knees just like a man.
With bowed head I will bring it!
Ha, ha, this is your demise.
The chains have been loosed.
I am free! 


Scott David Buckley-(02/08/2012)

THE END

I have lost my way again.
Lost in all the grey matter.
Call me prodigal.
Call me foolish.
I have come to believe my own lies.
I have chosen to walk away.
I want to go my own way.
I am standing in the cold again.
I am trying to find my way back home.
I look for that star in the dark skies.
For that candle in the window.
I feel so far away.
I feel so far down.
I am alone and crying.
I am so afraid.
This world is so empty.
I sit here oh so lonely.
Where have I gone?
Where have I come?
I just do not feel right.
I am so confused.
I am so filled with hate.
I am so filled with anger and rage.
It all fogs my vision.
And I don't know which is up.
I don't know which is down.
Even though that is how I feel.
I have been betrayed by my wisdom.
I just do not know anything.
Except this is not where I want to be.
This is not where I belong.
I am frowned upon.
I am looked down upon.
Judgement stares me right in the eyes.
Then puts a bullet right between them.
There is no hope for me.
Faith seems so foreign.
Still I wonder as I wander.
So aimless, no reason, no purpose.
I am about to give up.
I want to give in.
I cannot go on any more.
My strength has let me down again.
As my path crumbles 'neath my feet.
Down I go.
With no rock bottom for me.
There is nothing.
I am nothing.
On my way.
On my way down and out.
I continually crash and burn.
I watch as all the pieces go up in flames.
I will not find wholeness again.
Where I once began.
I now end.


Scott David Buckley-(02/08/2012)

I WILL SHINE FOR YOU (YOU ARE HOLY)

I can see You on the wind.
I feel the warmth of Your glow upon my face.
My heart breathes Your Name.
My soul calls for You.
I feel Your touch upon me.
I know of You.
I stand with Your strength.
I am under Your grace.
You shine down on me.
I can feel myself rise.
I sail off beyond the heavens.
I can see myself soar.
I inhale You.
I exhale Your love.
These are my tears.
For I love You.
I know You.
I can touch You.
You touch me.
I am come alive.
I stand on You.
You uplift me.
I cry for You.
Oh Lord, reign down on me.
Pour all over me.
I await You.
Here am I.
I am for You.
I exclaim Your Name.
For all the nations to hear and see.
You are Holy...
You are Holy...
You are Holy!
And I bow down before Your radiance.
I kneel on bended knee.
 I will shine...
I will shine...
I will shine for You.


(Scott David Buckley-01/08/2012)