THE WORDS OF A SHIVERING SOUL

I feel so cold.

I am frozen within.

Long have the shadows grown.

Darkness has fallen upon me.

I am lost deep inside myself.

I am afraid.

Silence has gripped me tight.

I am suffocating.

My tears are icicles in the corners of my eyes.

They burn, they burn, they burn.

I am alive, I am dead.

I am forsaken.

My pain is tormenting me.

Every waking moment I am tortured.

I am bleeding internally.

There is little to no hope for me.

What hope there is is helpless.

I am nothing and nowhere.

What I was I am again.

And I don't care.

I am too far gone.

I am falling, continually falling.

There is no rock bottom that I can see.

Tell me, where do I go from here?

What am I supposed to do?

God, where are You?
We seem to have been separated.
This isn't what I want, or what I asked for.

I am self deprecating.
I loathe all that I can see in me.
Oh God, take this broken body and grind my bones into dust,
then cast it all into the wind.
And so, here I am.
Alone, all alone.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

SUICIDE NOTE

There is nothing for me.

Not then, not now, not to come.

All hope has drained away.

I am just so very tired.

Living has become a struggle.

A battle just to believe.

What is happiness, but a lie?

I am down trodden.

Fear has consumed all that I am.

It is the rising tide.

The thing that is pulling me down and away.

The silence is deafening.

Left alone to drown within myself.

What is compassion?

I just do not care.

Let go, I will walk away.

Love?!

Another lie that I will not believe in any more.

I am broken.

I am damaged beyond repair.

I cannot be fixed.

I don't really want to be.

It is of no consequence any way.

I will let the darkness take me now.

I will give in.

I will walk into the bitter cold.

The night that awaits me.

I will take what is mine no more.

Death is its own reward.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY