04/04/2014

WHAT WAS WAS NOT (NIGHTMARE)



My soul is dry as a drought.
My heart cannot breathe.
I have swallowed too many of my tears.
My life has become toxic.
My world is scorched.
Blocking out the sun.
Ash falls on me.
I am choking.
I am stagnant as lonely pool of dirty water.
There is only dust in my veins.
I am fallen.
My cries are but whimpers.
My eyes have been sewn shut.
I have been fenced in.
Condemned to a prison of my own construct.
Six walls, no windows, no door.
The dark is absolute.
I am so cold.
This is my iceage.
Extinction has come for me.
I will not be remembered.
Welcome to the nightmare that is my life.
All has been done at my own hands.
Which are stained red.
I am my own worst enemy.
I hate, I loathe.
I am enraged.
Fear grips my mind.
It's all over now.
I never had a chance in hell.
Now there is hell to pay.
I am just so weary.
Hear my lament.
This is an ode for the silent ones.
Silence is screaming,
deafening!
We are the forgotten,
the left out,
the left behind, and the forsaken.
I only know of despair and hopelessness.
Affliction has racked my mind.
This my torture.
It worsens the longer that I continue to live.
May death claim me soon.
My will is gone.
I have nothing,
I am nothing.
The caustic has poured all over me.
Soon I will cease to exist.
I question if I ever did live.
Was it all a lie?
I am not afraid of Hell, I have already gone through it.
I have already lived it.
This all was just a story,
or was it?

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

3 comments:

  1. For those who suffer in silence, for fear of ridicule and/or themselves.
    For the afflicted, the addicted.
    For the lonely, the left behind, the forgotten and the forsaken.
    An abstract story about our feelings that lie, confuse, frustrate and overwhelm.

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  2. Yes, thoughts do lie =) Great piece Scott. This is Mark, btw, from Clean Slate Fellowship.

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    1. Indeed Mark. One of these days I'll remember your name and will be able to associate it with CSF. "The Happy Idiot". Ha! Love it! I sometimes refer to myself as "Skullcrazy". ;)

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I'd love to know what you think of this poem.