HERE I AM (AGAIN, STILL)

Here I am.

Again.

Feels as though I never left.

Oh too familiar it is to me.

It's an open grave that I am always falling into.

I am swallowed.

Guilt and shame hold me here.

Anger and fear cover me over.

Here I am.

Again.

Still.

A prisoner unto myself.

With little to no hope.

Despair envelopes me.

God, please hear me.

Please save me, save me from me.

I cause all the damage.

All of the hurts.

All of the harms.

Here I am. 

Again.

Still.

My hope is waning.

My strength is gone.

My stores of faith is empty.

God please!

I still believe in Your love.

I sorely need Your grace right now.

God, hear my pleas.

Here I am.

Again.

Still.

God please, hear me, for I am broken.

I am destitute.

God, You are my only hope.

You are my salvation.

My redemption.

God please take me from here.

God please take me from me.

Here I am.

Again.

Still.

Alone.

I cannot move.

I am panicking.

I am suffocating.

Everything is closing in.

Crushing my spirit.

Crushing my heart and soul

Here I am.

Again.

Still.

God, are You there?

For I have lost my sight.

I can no longer feel You.

I can no longer hear You.

God please.

God please come close.

If You're there, please come and hear me.

Here I am.

Again.

Still.

Overburdened.
Oppressed.
Separated and isolated.
Alive but dead.
Here but nowhere.
I am torn.
Ripped to shreds.
Here I am.
Again.
Still.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY