HOPE (Part two)

What is a life?
What does it mean?
Is there any real reason for it?
What is the purpose?
And what is my life for?
I am desperate to know.
I am barely holding on.
I am barely holding myself together.
Truth is, I don't know how to live.
I'm even afraid to try.
I feel as though I was thrust out into it.
Without any know how or preparation 
  of what to expect.
Everything came at me so hard.
Unexpectedly.
It knocked me down hard, and more than once.
Leaving me cracked and slowly crumbling apart.
What am I supposed to do?
When I don't know how to.
I feel as though I'm spiralling endlessly.
Would someone please stop the world, 
  I want to get off.
There has to be more to life than all this.
There has to be a way through for me.
Right now, I just do not know!
I am continually taken for a fool.
I am just too trusting.
I am manipulated and taken advantage of.
Is this my fault?
Am I to blame for all this?
Down on my knees.
In visible silence.
Oh, how that silence screams!
I just cannot take it any more.
What am I to do?
Trying to hold on, needing to let go.
I see the irony of it all.
But it just angers me.
Where am I supposed to go?
When I have nowhere to go.
All these questions, all without answers.
I am so weary.
So very sick of it all.
I just want a little peace.
Is that too much to ask for?
Do I not deserve as much?
I don't know where I am, or even who I am.
So why try to continue?
Without knowing why, how can I?
Or maybe I do know.
Somewhere deep down inside me.
Maybe I can find all the answers that I seek.
And all that I am looking for, whatever that is.
Now I feel a slight stirring of hope in my heart.
I will go on.
I will press on the best I can.
Such as I am.
Maybe I was looking for something 
  in all the wrong places.
Maybe I knew everything from the start 
  and didn't even know it.
 Now I can see everything in a whole new light.
I feel renewed, revived.
I have a little bit of hope to hold onto.
I believe that little bit of hope will take
  me a long, long way.
I'm not ready to give up just yet.
I will not give up just yet.
Here's to lasting hope.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(30/01/2013)