ALL THAT MATTERS

All that I have is nothing.
What I am is nothing,
Who I am is what matters.
That's where I am, where I live.
I lose who I am sometimes.
Forgetting who I am.
Losing myself along the way.
But I always seem to come back to myself.
Sometimes I feel so far away from myself.
But I am never really too far away from me.
I don't always like how I am.
For it scares me.
I'm not always at my best.
I know I am not perfect.
That doesn't mean I have to stop.
I will always keep trying, even though
  I don't always want to.
Even when I just cannot.
Inside I feel so old.
I have grown so very weary.
I just don't have the strength that I used to.
There just isn't that much fight left in me.
I am weathered.
I am worn.
I am distressed.
I feel like I am withering away sometimes.
But I remember one thing I know for sure.
Feelings tend to lie.
I have been lying to myself for far too long.
I am broken, I am not okay.
This I know oh too well.
That's just the way it is, the way I am.
Really doesn't mean that much though.
The only thing that really matters to me, 
  is that I am still alive.
That's not just something, that's everything!
I will continue to carry on.
I will keep pressing forth.
And when I fall and can't get back up, I know
  there is One who will come and pick me up
    and carry me away.
That is my hope, my faith.
I depend on God's grace and love wholly and 
  solely.
When I depend on others and myself 
  I am always let down.
Everyone lies.
But You remain faithful always.
Remaining true, never leaving or forsaking me.
In Your embrace I am home.
I feel assured.
That is everything to me.
God, without You I am nothing.
Apart from You there is nothing.
You make me me, You make me who I am.
That is all that matters to me.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(18/01/2013)