SAVE ME FROM MYSELF

You know, it's killing me.
Someday it will be the death of me.
What I am.
All that I have done.
All that I have said.
It's not if but when.
I await my judgement.
I know I will be found guilty.
Because I am.
I have done evil.
I have lived in the dark places.
I have walked away from everyone
  and everything.
I am separated.
Living in seclusion.
I am not alive.
I am not dead.
I merely exist, and just barely at that.
So full of anger, hate, and rage.
I am violent.
I have been violent.
There is no solace for me.
I will never be satisfied.
There is nothing apart from this.
This is the sum of everything for me.
This is my heart of everything.
Cold, dark, and stark.
Reality doesn't exist for me.
Hope is foreign.
I dare not.
It always brings on the hurt and pain.
Pushing me further down.
Is there no end to it all for me?
Is this my condemnation?
Is  this my damnation?
I am afraid, I am suffering.
Brought on by my sorrow.
I feel I have doomed myself.
Imprisoned myself here forever.
Put in a cage just like a beast.
My hand and feet are shackled.
The door is closed, and so am I.
With my eyes open there is complete darkness.
With my eyes closed there is complete darkness.
Slowly I will wither.
Slowly I will rot.
Slowly I will decay.
Slowly I will turn to dust.
Into the nothingness I will go.
This is not what I want.
Do I have to accept this fate?
It is a fate worse than death.
Someone please remember me.
Someone please come for me.
Someone please, loose the shackles binding me.
Lift me up and carry me far away from here.
Into the light, into the life that I so sorely miss.
I don't want to die, I want to live!
Please let me live!
I'm on my knees, begging, pleading.
Please save me from myself.
Take it all away from me.
Lift my burdens up off of me.
I am just not strong enough, I admit.
Though guilty, please forgive me.
Wash me clean.
Make me whole again.
Please make me a new me.
I can be better than this.
Can I not?
I have the will.
I have the resolve.
I will not be broken again.
As long as you are with me.
Please keep your hand on me.
Be my mighty impregnable fortress and refuge.
I give you all that I am, 
  and all that comes with me.
All my sins, all my burdens, all my darkness.
These are all a part of me.
What I am, who I am.
I do not know what they are anyway.
Please, I need definition.
I need reason, I need purpose.
I need what for, I need why, I need how come.
Will you give all this to me.
I am waiting on you.
It's all I can do.
Please save me from myself.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(23/12/2012)