You don't have to leave.
Please don't leave.
I know your misery.
I know your agony.
I know of all your hurt and pain.
I am right here with you for a reason.
"Child of mine, you are mine 
  and I love you, more than you know."
I just want you to stay.
I have only love for you, beloved.
Let me tear down your walls.
Let me come in.
Let me come close.
I just want to hold you.
Please don't be afraid.
You can always trust me.
Hold onto me, I will not ever let you down.
All your tears I have kept each one of them.
Your tears are my tears.
As you suffer from the torment as do I.
Please, I just want to hold you.
Please, I just want to love you,
I am here when no one else is.
Doesn't that say something?
I know about everything.
I can see it all.
You may lay it all on me.
I will hold you.
I will carry you all the way back home if need be.
Here I am.
Please don't leave.
Let me take all your misery.
Let me take all your agony.
I am willing to take it all.
All as my own.
You don't have to suffer any more.
You can rid yourself of all your hurt and pain.
I can see it all, I know of it all.
"Baby just come to me."
"I am your Father and I love you more."
I an see you.
I know you.
I know exactly who you are.
You are not forgotten.
You are not left behind.
I am still here.
You are not forsaken.
I moved all Heaven and Earth just to get to you.
I left all the ninety-nine just to come for the one
  that is you.
I love you baby.
I care more than you will ever know.
The universe can just wait.
Heaven and Earth can wait too.
Right now there is only you that I see.
I am right here.
I am right there with you.
I will go wherever you go.
I will follow you into am empty bed.
I will find you in an empty bottle.
I will be there as you hold another needle.
I don't care 'bout all that.
I just want to love you. 
Please let me love you.
Please don't, you don't have to leave.
If you so choose.
Know that I will go with you.
Wherever you choose to hide.
Whoever you pretend to be.
Whatever you do.
Whatever you say.
I will and am always there.
Oh child, my baby, you don't have to.
You're free to leave if you choose to.
I will not stop you.
As much as it hurts me.
The rain are all my tears shed over you.
And in the cold, driving rain am I.
I am still holding you.
I am not giving up now, not after 
  all of your tears.
When no one is there.
When you're left all curled up into
  some cold and empty room.
Shivering from the fear.
Just close your eyes, there I am.
Just get up, turn around, there I am.
There I am always, I always have been.
Baby you don't have to.
Baby you don't have to leave.
Give me all your burdens.
The misery, the agony, the hate, the rage.
The desperation, the fear, the hurt, the pain.
You don't have to leave.
I will go with you even to the very four corners
  of the earth.
Just turn around, there I am.
I don't care about where you've been.
I don't care about what you've done.
I don't care about who've you been with,
Baby, just take my hand.
I will pick you up and carry you far away
  from here.
Do what you must.
Just know it will break my very heart.
I alone love you.
I alone care 'bout you.
I can give you so much.
I already have.
Baby please, just let me love you.
Baby, just let me.



It still hurts that I hurt you.
Words were said in the heat of the moment.
Once said there's no retrieving them.
I wish I could.
But this stupid man tends to say and do
  stupid things.
I've no excuses, I've no explanations.
I'm not perfect.
I cannot forgive myself.
So how can I expect you to.
I've come to realize that once one is sorry
  it's already too late.
Words have been said.
Pain has been felt.
Hurt has been felt.
Walls go up.
Fast and high.
What's a man such as me supposed to do?




I spit the blood out of my mouth.
I look at you with pure anger and hate.
I wipe the blood from my face.
One more time.
I'm not going to take any more.
I know I am weak.
You tell me all the time.
Then you show me too.
Smashing a bottle over my head.
One day I will retaliate.
Or I will just leave, not looking back.
No, not ever looking back.
I need to be free of you.
Somehow I will never be free of you.
You will haunt me till my death.
I cannot get you out of my mind.
I can still hear the screaming.
I can still feel the hurts, harms and all the pain.
And I can still hear your drunken laughter.
I just want out.
I just want it all to stop.
I don't want to feel worthless any more.
But I must forgive, or you'll follow me 
  wherever I go.
Believing and forgiving are the hardest part for me.
I cannot even forgive or love myself.
It just hurts so very much. 
You are in my head screaming day and night.
You're going to be the death of me.
I cannot escape.
I am too afraid.
It will just make things worse.
So I just keep trying to hide the best I can.
But you always find me in my mind.
Your raspy voice and the laughter keep you 
  you in my mind.
This has to stop and stop now!
When, how?
Stop laughing at me!
Just leave me alone!
You bent me and I snapped like twigs.
But I am getting stronger.
You'll just won't get it.
You just won't see me.
I am changing and it doesn't include you.
I get stronger and stronger every day.
So here I will go, leaving you far behind,
I won't even look back, only onward.
Your screams fall on deaf ears.
You can no longer hurt me.
I am gone, gone, gone.
I will fight to get you out of my mind.
Your chains will all fall from down off of me.
For the first time in my life I feel free.
I don't know where I am going.
But it will be far away and from from your reach.
You are dead to me effective right now.
I have something to live for.
I have a reason to live.
I have a purpose somewhere deep down within me.
The meaning for me is simple; "Love all, always."



I cannot remember.
Remember what it was like.
To be happy and care-free.
To have my innocence.
What I do remember is, that it was ripped from me.
Just like that, all that I was died.
Snuffed out like a breath on a candle's flame.
Torn, oh how I ache, I exist in perpetual agony.
No more tears have I.
No more time for the such.
Anger and rage have taken up all empty space.
Don't you dare try to help me.
I don't need your pity.
You just feel bad for what you have done to me.
You don't know what you have done to me.
I was once alive but I am now dead.
Without a heart and a soul.
You stole it all from me.
There is no going back.
This crimson stain will never be washed away.
This is all I remember now.
This is all that there is for me now.
Out of nothing comes only nothing.
This is all that I can now see.
Darkness, blacker than black.
Hate, I remember oh too well.
There you are with my blood on your hands.
You've gotten away with murder.
All I have left is emptiness and hollowness.
I can hear you laughing.
In the midst of my cries for death.
For release.
I don' t want to remember all that I've forgot.
I don't want to remember what I can.



It cuts to the bone.
What is called my pride,
My sin will feed on me again.
Nothing living will be left.
I see the vultures, I see the crows.
I am just scavenge.
Weathered and withered.
I am just prey.
Flesh has been ripped clean from my bones.
My own selfishness and arrogance.
Oh such a feast am I.
Soon there will be nothing left.
My bones will have been picked clean.
Left to bleach in the sun.




I feel the shame.
Of a life unlived.
Afraid to even try.
Left out.
Left behind.
Down on my knees.
With no one to help me back up.
So I hide.
Not saying a single word.
Choosing to remain unseen and invisible.
Only I can feel the pain and hurt.
Only I can feel the tears flowing down my face.
Only I can see what agony is doing to me.
I am torn apart and will not let anyone know.
I just want it to end.
I just want it all to go away.
Knowing it never will.
It keeps getting worse and bigger.
I cannot take this.
I am just not strong enough.
I am alone.
I am unknown.
The blame is all mine.
These were the choices I alone made.
Now the price is too much for me to pay.
I cannot continue.
I don't want to continue.
A life unlived.
The shame I keep hidden.



I fight my own battle.
For it is for me and for me alone to fight.
I've been here before.
With my back up against the wall.
And pushed into a corner.
I stood my ground.
I gave not a single bit.
I was bent over.
But I did not break.
Down and out.
But I arose and came forward.
I took the battle to my enemy.
I cut him down.
He did not get back up.
Then I left.
Continuing the journey I walk alone.
The enemy I defeated was me.
My own worst enemy.
I will not look back.
I will not look for another battle to fight.
Here and now is where I am.
It is quite enough to deal with.
I can only handle so much.
But I will ever keep a wary eye.
I will remain ever vigilant.
For my enemy is cunning and knows me 
  very well.
But I know him just as well.
And am just as cunning.
I am not afraid to step up.
I am not afraid to step to him.
I will stand and stand strong.
No time for tears here.
No time for self pity.
This is my battle.
I will fight it.
Let there be no doubt of that.
It is my own and my own alone to fight.
I will fight!




And I wait quietly.
Trying to make not a sound.
For fear of the unknown.
Trying to remain invisible.
To remain unknown.
For fear of the known.


(191) Scott David Buckley

(191) Scott David Buckley
Remove the stigma surrounding mental illness and addiction. A physical imbalance between the brain and the body's chemicals. An illness just as cancer, diabetes and so on...wake up oh ignorant ones!



Down on my knees.
Forced here.
I am growing angry.
I cannot be held down.
I don't know why you even try.
You're cold to the touch.
It burns me.
You're so arrogant you're ignorant.
I will stand, facing you.
I will stare straight into your eyes.
I can see the cold dark there.
Just you try and put me down again.
I can tell you right now! It's not going to happen.
You've pushed me down for so long.
I'm not going down any more.
Push me, I will push back!
You and me, we have a hate on going on.
That suits me just fine.
I don't need you anyway.
And I'm stronger than you think.
I will stand here.
I will stand my ground.
And I mean to keep it.
It isn't much, but it's all mine.
Not yours.
So you just go ahead and try.
We'll see who pushes who down.
And I will say again, it isn't going to be me.
So we have a stalemate here now.
You're not backing down.
I'm not backing down.
By the way, you stink!



Here I am.
I'm right in front of you.
Your stare remains above me.
When you do look at me your stare burns
  a hole right through me.
I feel like I am in visible silence.
Oh how the silence screams in my mind.
And I scream out too.
But you are not listening.
Pretending you cannot hear anything.
Why can't you hear me?
Why can't you see me?
I'm screaming.
I'm crying.
Still, nothing.
That's what I am, nothing.
I will turn my back to yours to mine.
I will sew my mouth shut.
I will sew Xs over my eyes as you have.
I will trace lines on my arms.
I will call them artwork.
But I am confident that no one will see.
Here I am in visible silence, I am invisible.
Have I died and gone to hell?
Or worse; am I alive and in hell?
I cannot stem this bleeding any more.
I am slowly dying.
I am slowly killing myself, right in front of you!
I am angry, I am enraged.
To be forced to hide deep within myself.
Why does no one see me?
Why does no one hear me?
Why must I suffer in visible silence?
I guess I do not matter.
I guess I am not important.
I am right here.
Right here, in front of you.
You look at me as if I was non- existent.
That is how I am feeling.
Feelings I will try to cut through.
Feelings I will try to sever from myself.
I will allow myself to bleed out.
With it, all of this will bleed out too.
Will you see me then?
Will you hear me then?
At least the screaming silence in my mind
  will finally stop.
Here I am, still.
Right in front of you.
You cannot hear the screaming.
Or you choose not to.
I know at least, you just do not understand.
Here I am, right in front of you, in visible silence.
The screaming silence.



I have fallen so many times.
I have worn a hole in the ground.
It has become home to me.
Still, I keep getting back up.
My hands and knees are bloodied.
My strength, it wanes.
My face is crusted with dried out tears.
My stare is blank.
I am so weary.
I don't want to go on any more.
I just want to give up.
Make it all go away.
But I seem to always find the strength
  to give it one more try.
To keep moving on.
Making my way through all this.
No matter how much it hurts.
I know deep down it will all be worth it.
It will be worth all the hurt and pain.
Worth all the shed tears.
What awaits me is so very much more.
More than I can even imagine.
So, I keep getting back up.
I find the strength I need.
I keep giving it one more try.
I keep moving on.
And I keep falling still.
I keep hurting.
I keep feeling pain.
I keep on crying.
Deep down, I know it will all be worth it.



Stryper - Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Glory, Glory, Hallelujah) - YouTube

Stryper - Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Glory, Glory, Hallelujah) - YouTube


Pain never really goes away.
There beneath the scars.
I still bleed.
The hurt is still there.
I still know of all my harms.
At times they resurface.
I am taken back to that very time and place.
As if it was happening again right then and there.
I cannot always hold the surge of memories back.
I am easily overwhelmed.
I quickly go under.
Without so much as a struggle.
Then comes the trauma I felt back then.
The torment from all the torture.
I wanted to die then.
I almost want to die now.
Memories like these quickly flood.
There is nothing I can do.
This time there is fight in me though.
I know this isn't real any more.
These memories are just old feelings.
Feelings that are lying to me.
As feelings tend to do.
And I realize, this time, I will survive, 
  I am still alive!
The pain is for but the moment.
Then it is gone.
Replaced by indescribable love.
I have my scars.
I am not afraid to let them show.
I know beneath the scars there is hurt and pain, 
  but there too is comfort and healing.
I have been hurt, I have done hurt.
I have cursed all.
I have felt great pain and I have caused great pain.
There is still anger and burning rage in me.
Still very much alive.
But the grace, and the love covering me 
  are stronger.
The comfort comes, as it always does, right when
  I need it the most.
So that I can heal.
Your unfailing love God is always right on time.
I have scars.
I bear them proud.
I wear them for all to see.
To me, they are medals of honour.
For what I had to live through.
For what I had to live with.
And still survived.
May you all see my scars.
And see that I have been healed.
Healed by God's undying grace and 
  unfailing, unconditional love.
Love that never ceases no matter what.
May these scars show the healing.
May there be a little of the pain and hurt remain.
Reminding me of how far I have come.
Of what I endured and survived 
  all the better for it.
And that God is there always.
These are my scars.


Amen Me! Sharing Convictions

Amen Me! Sharing Convictions



You were so beautiful.
You had eyes like stars.
And the wings of an angel.
But you were shot down.
You crashed and burned.
It was more than you could take.
The storm's surge washed you away.
Taking all that you were with it.
You're never going to return.
A piece of the world died with you that day.
All Heaven and the Earth mourned for you.
There was great weeping.
As the angels fell to their knees crying in agony.
Some light went out of the world when yours did.
There's nothing to say.
There's nothing to do.
You are gone.
It's too late.
Mourning and anger won't solve a damn thing.
You cannot fight what already was.
Once gone there's no coming back.
The tears aren't going to do anything.
You can feel sorry for yourselves all you want.
You can say: "But I didn't mean to."
  all you want.
It does not change a thing.
What's done is done.
You will have to live with it the rest of your lives.
Her beauty is now a withered flower.
Beyond bringing back to life.
It is too late.
Everything failed this time.
As in too many times before.
Talking has failed.
Educating has failed miserably.
No one did a thing as usual.
Everyone turned a blind eye.
She was left all alone to crawl into a ditch
  just wanting to die.
How could anyone wish evil on another?
Where is the love in this world?
Is there any truth in this world?
God why did You have to let this happen?
Why did You not put a stop to any of this?
It's so hard for me to believe in You
  when You allow this to happen over and over
I may go to Hell for this.
But I just do not see a loving God right now.
It seems like you turned Your back.
You seemed to have broken Your promise 
  to never forsake any one child.
You said You'd never let anyone go through
  anything that was too much for them.
Why did You break these promises?
I fail to see any reason.
I fail to see any purpose.
I just plain fail to see why.
How was Your will done in this evil act?
How was this for Your glory?
That would make You a god of hate.
If Jesus was there with her all the time, 
  why did He do nothing?
As He stood idly by.
It seems to me He did nothing to comfort 
  and soothe her.
Why did the healing never come?
God where was Your Spirit?
All questions that will never have any answers.
God, I don't mean to blame You for the evil that
  men do.
But it's so damned frustrating and angering
  to see this kind of thing happen continually.
God I beg of You, do not let this young girl's
  death be in vain.
Let whatever You are trying to voice be heard
  loud and clear.
I plead of You, down on hands and knees.
Let this girl's death have a voice.
Even if just to one person.
Don't let anyone feel they have no other choice.
Than to take the last resort.
No one should have to suffer like this.
May more and more people see this and
  do something to stop it.
Are not all the young one's life precious 
  in Your sight?
Please Lord, I am trusting in You solely
  and wholely.
Please do not let me down.
My heart is breaking.
My soul is aching.
A piece of me died with this young girl.
I was once her, You saved me.
Why was my life worth more than hers?
I'd give my life and even my soul just to
  have her back and to know that she knows
    that she's loved and beautiful.
God please use me to voice this to those vulnerable
  the most.
The youth of today.
The future of this world.
God please, please, send me.
Someway, somehow, I will go.
With Your Spirit in me guiding me.
I will have not one more young soul be snuffed out
  like a little candle.
I will see to the end of all abuse.
This will be my cross to bear.
This will be the burden I can never lay down.
I will follow You wherever that may be.
No matter how hard it may be.
Put those in my life that will help me.
Please don't let me down and remove all doubt.
I am a willing voice.
I will stand and be counted.
I will not be ignored.
My voice will be a mighty roar
I will carry this young girl's name 
  engraved onto my heart wherever I go.
Till the day I die.
Her death will not be in vain.
Lord I ask You to make it so.
May the name Amanda Todd be remembered
  by all.
I hope she is there with You, with no more tears.
With no more suffering, hurt or pain.
May there be healing brought to all her harms.
This is my voice.
This is my prayer.
Bring voices to the silence.
So that the silence so many suffer in needlessly.
Suffer no more.
So that silence will not be the true killer,
  but rather, the victim this time.



I feel so empty inside.
Hollow and dark.
I feel like I have lost everything.
Someone took it all away.
All away from me.
Oh how it hurts me so.
I feel I haven't a friend in this wretched world.
Oh so lonely am I.
Afraid and alone.
I'd cry but my tears have turned to dust.
Still, I feel I am drowning in a sea of tears.
Overwhelmed and overcome.
I allow despair to take me.
As the freezing cold penetrates to my core.
Still I feel the agony.
The torment.
The torture.
It never ceases.
It is continual, day and night.
With no end in sight.
I become hopeless.
I succumb.



Your words hit me like poisoned darts.
They buried themselves deep into my soul.
They killed me every time.
Don't know why I am still here.
What I do know is that I don't want to be here.
No! Not any more.
My self worth is nil.
I continue hemorrhaging within.
My wounds cannot be cauterized.
The bleeding cannot be stemmed.
Still, I am here.
I don't know why.
I do not want to be.
How do I deserve this?
I don't see the reason.
I don't see the purpose.
What is the meaning in this?
'Cause I just don't see any.
No reason, no purpose, no meaning.
No! Not for my life!
I can feel the knives sticking out of my back.
I know there are footprints on my back.
I have been lied to by everyone.
I have been betrayed by everyone.
Everyone has let me down.
Manipulated, used and abused.
I am empty handed.
Everything's been taken from me.
My heart and soul are left empty and torn to shreds.
Oh, how I ache within.
I just want to let go.
On the edge, it doesn't seem so far down.
Six feet doesn't seem so far down.
I'm alone feeling alone.
Why can't I be left alone?
Just too much.
Just too much for me.
I guess I am just not strong enough.
And here comes another hit.
I don't fight back, I can't fight back.
I am surrounded and outnumbered.
Surrendering doesn't help a single bit.
My white flag is taken and ripped apart.
I am pushed down.
I am underneath, I am smothered.
I can feel the hammer fall down on me
  time after time.
Then I am left behind, alone.
Broken, bruised and beat.
Crying, drowning in my own crimson coloured
Knowing no one cares.
I wish I did not myself.
I just want to feel nothing.
I want to be numb.
Maybe if I cut myself off.
Would it all go away?
I don't know.
I just know I want to feel something other
  than hurt, pain and fear.
Please, make this the end of it all.
The end of it all.


(105) "Words HURT (Silence the True Killer)".

(105) "Words HURT (Silence the True Killer)".
Awareness for physical/emotional/cyber abuse (bullying), stigma surrounding mental illness & addiction, domestic violence, rape and child abuse and molestation.
Please visit and "like". Get talking about it, raise awareness. The discussion must continue. Hopefully the discussion will lead to action.


Sanctus Real – Promises (Official Music Video) | Christian Music Zine

Sanctus Real – Promises (Official Music Video) | Christian Music Zine

Flyleaf – Fire Fire (Official Live Music Video) | Christian Music Zine

Flyleaf – Fire Fire (Official Live Music Video) | Christian Music Zine


It's hard to find meaning in life.
I don't know why men do the evil they do.
Why do they children have to go missing,
  never to return?
How can a father or mother steal innocence
  from their own children,
I have to wonder; where is God in all this?
Why does He allow all this to happen?
I have no answers.
I don't understand all that goes on in life.
I don't understand the state of the world.
So many nations come against nations.
I don't know why.
My own country seems to be in such upheaval.
So many have no homes.
So many live beneath the poverty line.
They are forced to choose whether to feed the family
  or pay to keep the electricity on.
So many are forced to beg for food and shelter.
I don't know why.
I don't know if there's any solution to all this.
It's how it's been throughout all of history.
Everyone seems to blame God.
I have to question that.
Seems to me that man does as he wills.
Seems to me evil exists because man is
  why men do the evil that man does.
Why does God not put a stop to it all?
Seems like He lets the devil and Legion roam
  around free of binds.
I question whether it's fair to blame God for
  all this.
Man made his own sin nature.
Man allowed Legion into this world.
 I don't have any answers for everything.
I'll never know why.
I will never point the finger accusing just any one.
I don't know who's to blame for anything.
So much goes on one has to shake his head.
As for me, I constantly sit with my head
  in my hands, crying.
I know the real problem with the world is me.
As you should know the real problem with
  the world is you.
The world is never going to change.
Till we change ourselves.
I know, I believe we can change ourselves.
Then the world can start to change.
Only together as one, with hearts of love, can we
  hope to change this world.
As God never forsakes His children, I know
  He will never forsake our world.
But it's up to you, it's up to me, to become the change.
You see, we are this world.
It's up to us to let hope keep on rising.
We all need hope.
Without hope we have nothing.
And we're right back where we were.
I believe. NO! I know we can change this world
  all together.
All together now.
Be the light in this dark world.
Be the change in this world.
As for me, I'm standing here, a broken man
  looking into a broken mirror.
Attitude is everything and everything
  begins with me.
Here is where it's going to start.
I will reach out my hand.
Another will reach out their hand.
Then another still will reach out.
Before we know it we'll find ourselves 
  working together.
And the world will be better for it.
All because we allowed love into our hearts.
And that love grew and spread.
Only together as one people, one family, can
  we bring about the change.
God said, "Do everything with love."
Love is what changes every thing.
But only if we allow that change to
  happen within ourselves.
It's up to me.
It's up to you.
We can change, we can be the change.
The love of a Saviour is what this world needs.
It's what we need.
It's time we realized.
Each one of us is the meaning.
Each one of us is the reason.
Each one of us is the purpose.
Each one of us are why our lives are.
Hope in love is what will give us all these.
God's Spirit is inside us all for a reason.
Not to just make us feel good.
But to spur us to be better than we are.
So much more than we are.
You see, the sum of everything is us.
What we put in, or what we take out.
I'm not going to give any false hope.
The harsh truth is: this world we live in
  is never going to change.
Legion is just too powerful and strong.
But at least we can do our very best.
Remembering that best will always be enough.
Anything you give is a lot.
You can give the last of what you have.
And it will be worth more than anything.
This world is the way it is.
It will continue on.
But we can still be a difference.
We can still make a change.
Believe it in your Heart of Hearts and it
  will truely be so.
This is what revival is.
In a world that doesn't care.
Full of people who don't either.
Still, I believe there is hope for all.
Don't let your light be hidden.
Let it shine, let it ignite the world.
Even the dimmest light can shine so bright.
Even if they don't want to see it.
Even if you be persecuted, it will happen.
Love is all you can offer.
Love is all you can give.
Don't stop being the light.
Don't stop being the change.
Follow your heart, it always seems to know
  just where it's going.
Even if you never see any change in your lifetime.
You just keep on.
Bring no revolution.
Bring no rebellion.
Rather, let that little light of yours shine.
Fire always spreads when allowed to.
This is what will waken people.
This is what will bring revival.
It all starts with me.
It all starts with you.
Worry not.
I don't think any answers will answer
  the questions of the world.
It's so easy to be "anti".
Lets choose to not.
Choose hope.
The world and all the evil in it will continue on.
As it always has down through the millenniums.
Corrupt, evil and still with beauty and love.
It's how you view the world that makes
  the world you see, what it is.
And your character is what will make you view
  the world as it is.
Stop asking why this happens.
Stop asking why that happens.
Men will continue doing the evil they do.
You don't have to let it change you.
Only you can do that.
God gave you free will for a reason.
That reason is different for each individual.
Each man, woman, and child.
As for me, today, I choose hope, hope in faith.
I breathe in deeply and I say to myself:
  "My, what a wonderful world!" "My,
      what a wonderful life!"
Even though it's so hard to see.
When believing is the hardest part.
With the sky falling and the world itself 
  crumbling down before us.
This is the world where I am.
I am a part of it.
The world I see chokes me as tears
  slowly inch their way down my face.
I look at this world, the world I see.
I can't stop no. I can't stop, NO!
The change will be with me.
I will not try to change anything or any one.
But I will love, just as I should.
I will be a friend.
I don't have all the answers for the questions
  of this world.
I will just say: "Let us love, let us love always."




I can pretend no longer.
I am afraid to try.
I am afraid to make mistakes.
I can no longer hide away.
The world will always be there.
Life will always be there as well.
Sooner or later I am going to have to face it.
Look in the mirror and face myself.
Who and what I am.
I need to realize that this is not who I am.
I am so much more than I think.
So much more than I can see.
But believing is the hardest part.
How can I love and forgive when it hurts
  so very much?
I have lived a life of lies and betrayal.
My life is yet to be lived.
So I have wasted an entire life.
This is the cold, hard truth that I must face.
And face it alone.
I must learn to accept me for who I am.
What I am matters not.
What others say to me are just lies.
Out of their arrogance they show 
  their ignorance.
I admit I am not ready for myself.
I am not ready to live.
I am not ready for this world.
But too, I am not ready to die.
It's just another feeling and feelings lie.
Separated and isolated.
Still, everything remains.
My burdens weigh me down more and more
Can no longer keep my head above the water.
I choke and swallow my sin.
As despair washes over me, drowning me.
This is me.
Such as I am.
A lost and wretched soul.
This is just some of what I must face.
I cannot move on while still chained to the past.
And while chained to where I am.
I cannot ignore this any more.
I cannot ignore me any more.
And most of all, I cannot ignore You.
I have swept too much underneath.
It is all beginning to swell.
Oh, the stench!
I have pushed too much down into myself.
Now I am starting to come undone.
My seams are stretching to their limit.
My hinges are under way too much pressure.
And I need to face it all as it all grows.
The longer I do not, the bigger and harder it is
  to deal with.
I know I cannot do this on my own.
No! Not on my own.
God, I am looking to You.
Can You take all of this away?
Please, it is killing me slowly.
This is the end.




Look down on me.
Wretch I am.
Have pity on me.
Wretch I am.
Please save me.
Wretch I am.
Shine down on me.
Wretch I am.
Warm my cold heart.
Wretch I am.
Hold me close.
Wretch I am.
Wash me in love.
Wretch I am.
Please hear me.
Wretch I am.
Wretch I am.


(169) "Words HURT (Silence the True Killer)".

(169) "Words HURT (Silence the True Killer)".
No one should have to suffer in silence from the hurt, pain or fear from physical violence(bullying), stigma surrounding mental illness and addiction, domestic violence(emotional/physical),rape, and child molestation. Please visit and "Like".

(3) "Words HURT (Silence the True Killer)".

(3) "Words HURT (Silence the True Killer)".
Trying to raise awareness for physical violence (bullying), stigma surrounding mental illness and addiction, domestic violence, rape, and child molestation.



I know who you are.
I know what you are.
You are the demon "Stigma".
You cause so much suffering to so many.
Your reach is far.
Your claws sink deep.
Till there is total bleeding out.
So many know you and don't even know it.
They are blind.
In their arrogance they are ignorant.
I can see the irony in this.
You are the Puppet Master.
Your deception runs deep.
All the way to the very depths of false
Everything they think they know is a lie.
You just sit there throwing out food scraps.
And they swallow them like they're starving.
But I know of you.
I can see you.
I will stand before you.
Call me enemy.
I am to be feared.
I am poison to you.
For I am armed with the truth.
I am armed with knowledge and wisdom.
I will come to you, I will step to you.
Eye to eye.
I no longer fear you.
You hold me down no longer.
Your power has lessened in this world.
Your strength is waning.
The truth is spreading.
Knowledge is growing.
But I still realize you'll never really go away.
You'll always be there.
Making sure those that already suffer
  suffer more.
You keep their mouths covered.
Silence is your strongest and surest weapon.
Silence your second name.
You are the true killer.
Every time a little one falls.
You become all the more stout.
I can hear you laughing.
But you don't seem to understand or believe.
I will see the death of you.
I will hunt you down.
I know where you lay.
In the hearts of the fearful.
In the minds of the afflicted.
And I see you provide the fodder to the addicted.
You keep the abused oppressed.
You feed off of the victimized.
I am stronger than you.
You have nothing on me.
You have nothing over me.
I will rise and rise again.
You can no longer have me.
I am no longer your whore.
I will stand tall and use my best
  and surest weapon.
My voice!!!
Your defeat is coming nigh.
My hate for you will fuel my rage.
I will see hope rise like never before.
And you will fall and fall hard.
Who'll be laughing then?
Not you!
Oh "Stigma", my old friend, my nemesis.
You have a foe in me.
And more are gathering.
Armed to the hilt with the truth
  and knowledge.
Be afraid, my dear, be very afraid.
You are left all alone.
You are not many, but we are.
You will be quashed.
There will be no more uprisings.
The silence will become yours.
"Stigma!" You will die!!!


Abusers: list of rape myths

Abusers: list of rape myths: List of RAPE MYTHS Sociology of Rape University of Minnesota Duluth Rape myths are beliefs about sexual assault that wrought wit...


Abusers Check this blog out, rape and the such awareness. I recommend it.

We Came As Romans Official Website

We Came As Romans Official Website
One of my absolute favourite bands. Check 'em out.



I want to go back to days of long ago.
The days of my youth.
Where I would walk along with the breeze.
When I was care free.
While I still had my innocence.
When I wasn't afraid to feel.
I would look and see the beauty of the world.
I could laugh.
I would run all around with a playful heart.
There was nothing in my way.
Nothing could stop me.
Nothing and no one could hold me back.
I was strong, I was invincible, 
  I was unbreakable.
Where did those days go?
Why did it all have to end so suddenly?
That happy little boy became a fearful,   
  angry boy.
That angry boy became a man.
That man became that same angry boy.
I just want to forget it all.
Pretend that it never happened, none of it.
In a way I died one day.
All of who and what I was was taken and killed.
My innocence was ripped from me
  with my heart and soul.
Way to soon.
I was still just a little boy.
What could I do?
When those I trusted all betrayed me.
I was left out in the cold.
I was left alone.
I cried myself asleep every night.
I screamed into my pillow every night.
I tried to hide my tears.
I tried to hide the hurt and pain.
But I was just not strong enough.
And I was ignored.
I was let down.
Where was I supposed to go?
When there was nowhere to go.
There was nothing I could do.
Desperation and hopelessness slowly
  consumed me.
Why did it all have to happen?
What did I do to deserve any of this?
Oh my God, my God, why?
Where were you when I needed you?
Once again, I was left all alone.
I was angry and didn't care any more.
I just wanted to die, I was already dead anyway.
No one cared, no one listened to me.
All alone one night I tried to end it all.
Somehow I am still here, still alive.
With hope to live.
That scared, angry little boy is still
  alive in me.
I cannot forget.
I cannot forgive.
I cannot love myself.
Still I hope beyond all hope.
That it will all one day end.
That I could know peace again.
And get my innocence back again.
But it's hard to have hope when you're
  having trouble believing any more.
It still hurts so very much.
And I'm tired of hearing only words.
Words mean nothing when you hurt so much.
God, my God, where are you?
I am looking for you.
I don't want to be afraid any more.
I don't want to be angry any more.
I don't want to hurt any more.
I just want to live.
Live in peace and harmony.
Do any of these things exist?
I have hope they do.
Believing is the hardest part.
Still having hope and faith, I realize
  that's all I really have right now.
Without them I have nothing.
So I keep holding on, I keep holding out.
One day these wounds will heal and I will
  wear the scars.
I look for that day.
Always looking for that day.
Just like the day of long ago.
The day before everything.
I believe I can go back again.
I believe...



Keep the home fire burning.
I'm coming home soon.
Al my paths lead to one destination.
I'm coming home to You.
No matter how weary I grow.
I will stay the journey.
I have but one resolve.
I am staring at the horizon.
There's a new one with each new day.
Hope is the fire in me driving me on.
So put more coal on and keep stoking the fire.
I am still heading forward.
Nothing can stop me now.
I am determined.
I am coming home to You.
No matter how far.
No matter how long it takes.
No matter how hard.
No matter how steeply inclined.
This journeyman will keep on, sojourning on.
My faith is solid.
No one will hold me back.
No one will stop me.
I will push forward.
I will push through.
I can see the flame burning in the window.
I am coming home to You.
This prodigal son is coming back to You.



I can't say I am alive.
I just don't feel that way.
The silence is deafening.
Whispering to screaming.
I am standing on the edge.
It doesn't really look that far down.
If I fall will anyone be there to catch me?
Does anyone have my back?
Or is there a knife buried deep in it?
Lying face down in the dirt.
Choking on the dust.
Crimson tears draw lines down my face.
I can taste them on crusted lips.
I can't say I am alive.
I just don't see it that way.


(244) Words HURT

(244) Words HURT
Bullying and suffering, stigma awareness and encouragement.
Please visit the page on FB and "like". facebook.com/wordscangivelifeortakelife
Thanks you for any support.



You have always been there for me.
When I needed someone the most.
There You were.
Right there, right on time.
Your love was always right on time.
You always knew when I needed saving.
You were there to save me from myself.
No questions asked.
You just held out Your hand.
There were always tears in Your eyes.
I always knew I was the reason why.
Still You always came for me.
Moving all Heaven and Earth.
You had to leave the ninety-nine
  just to come for this one.
But come You always did.
You never cared where I had wandered,
  or why I had wandered away.
You just wanted to take me into Your open arms.
And carry me away to where I belonged.
I needed You then and I still need You.
Right now, right here.
That's where You are.
Holding me in Your loving embrace.
No matter where I'd been and what I said or did.
After all the grief I caused You.
You still love me enough.
To come when I need someone the most.
Right here, right where I am.
Right on time as always.



I let you go.
It doesn't matter why.
You let me go.
It doesn't matter why.
I miss those times.
I miss your company.
I miss you.
But life got in the way.
As it always does.
It doesn't care.
It's what it does.
It doesn't matter any more.
The wounds you cut into me have now 
  become scars.
It still doesn't matter any more.
Sometimes I still find myself wondering.
Where did you go?
I guess I didn't matter either.
Was it my fault?
Was it your fault?
There are no answers for these questions.
There never will.
It doesn't matter any more anyway.
I just want to know one thing.
Do you ever find yourself wondering about me?
Not that it matters.
The two lost souls that had found each other
  lost each other.


The Gold Box

The Gold Box
I didn't write this, but it's kinda cool.



You always know where I am.
You know where I live.
There's nowhere I can hide.
You visit me every day.
Bringing me what I like, what I love.
I've begun to crave it constantly.
You know exactly what it is I need.
You know exactly how to get to me.
No matter how much I hate you.
I hate myself more.
I need to forget, at least for a little while.
The darkness always comes back
  after you've gone.
Twisting my mind more than it already is.
I am angry, I am enraged.
I don't want this, but cannot live without it.
I keep craving more and more every day.
There you are, filling my empty hands.
You always laugh at me.
I never know why.
Am I that pathetic?
Maybe I am.
Weak, wrecked, empty and hollow.
I need something to fill that void within me.
Even though it's slowly, painfully 
  killing me.
I hate myself for what I do.
I hate myself for the choices I make.
But I feel powerless to change myself.
I cannot escape myself.
I am everywhere I go.
As you are.
Why am I always home when loneliness 
  comes to visit.
Giving me a hunger that I cannot feed.
A hunger only you can feed.
I hate myself that I give in to you 
I know what I am doing, but just
  cannot stop myself.
I am miserable, more and more so 
  every day.
I hate myself for it.
Making it worse.
Making my hunger grow.
Is this all that there is for me?
Is this so-called existence what I am damned
Is this the six walled cell my home?
Call me lost.
Call me forsaken.
Call me damned.



You know where what you are looking for is.
You can find yourself in yourself.
You can find strength there.
You can find courage there.
You can find hope there.
You can faith there.
You can find power there.
You can find truth there.
You can find love there.
It all depends on you.
It all starts with you.
Wherever you go there you are.
You can believe in you.
You are all this and more.
You have wings so soar.
Up above the heavens.
Don't ever come back down.
Soar, soar, soar.
You are ready.
The time is now.
Right here, right now.
Go on, soar, you can do it.
Remember believe, it will surely be.
You are not lacking.
You are not needing.
No, not of anything!
You have and are everything that is who
  you are.
As a star does, shine.
As an eagle does, soar.
You are you!
That is not just something.
That is everything and more.
You are more.



I wander around alone, in circles it seems.
It makes me dizzy sometimes.
I walk away and then there I am again.
I am in a constant state of confusion.
"Why am I here?" I cry aloud.
The tears they fall freely.
Like the flood gates have been opened wide.
I look back on where I've been.
It's then I realize that I haven't gone anywhere.
Sadness and anger hit me hard then.
All this time.
All these years, wasted!
Where am I supposed to go from here?
And where am I exactly?
Wherever I look I am alone.
I am so cold, wet and tired.
It all bites right into my soul.
My heart barely beats as it bleeds out.
And I am bleeding internally.
Who is going to rescue me?
Who is going to save me from myself?
I certainly cannot.
I have lost myself somewhere along the way.
All this wandering has done me ill.
I reach out a withered hand.
Hoping above hope that someone will take a hold of it.
Someone please....!



My hands are stained with Your blood.
I was the one screaming: "GUILTY!!!"
I was the one beating and torturing You mercilessly.
I was the one who spat on You.
I was the one who jeered at You.
I was the one who followed You up The Skull.
I was the one who stripped You.
I was the one who broke Your bones.
I was the one who drove the spikes into
  Your wrists and ankles.
I was the one who placed the crown of thorns
  on Your brow.
I was the one who who carved and placed
  the sign above You in jest.
It read: "Here is the King of the Jews."
I was the one who watched You struggle to breathe.
I was the one who heard You cry out to God.
"Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
"Father why have you forsaken me?"
I was the one who saw You lift Your head
  and cry out: "IT IS FINISHED!!!"
I was the one who then saw You breathe Your last.
I was the one who stabbed a spear
  through Your side.
I was the one who watched Your body taken
  down with such care.
I was the one who watched as You were wrapped 
  in linen.
I was the one who watched You carried away by 
  Your beloved.
I was the one who saw You placed 
  in a borrowed tomb.
I was the one who witnessed a mighty big rock 
  placed over the entrance.
I was the one who watched Your family come
  to mourn over You.
I was the one who saw the rock had been removed.
I was the one who saw that the tomb was empty.
My hands are stained with Your blood.



You hurt, you cry.
You suffer, you lament.
This is how to know you are alive.
You fall, you break.
You come undone, you come apart.
This is how you know you are alive.
You feel, you are emotional.
You tire, you have a breaking point.
This is how you know you are alive.


The Best Time Of My Life

The Best Time Of My Life

Fireflight – Keeping Me Alive (Acoustic Performance) | Christian Music Zine

Fireflight – Keeping Me Alive (Acoustic Performance) | Christian Music Zine

(97) I AM for Jesus

(97) I AM for Jesus



Sometimes I just need to look away.
Don't know why, I just do.
Sometimes I just need to walk away.
Don't know why, I just do.
It's my mind getting in the way.
Don't know why, it just does.
Always leading me astray.
Don't know why, it just does.
I always seem to follow.
Don't know why, I just do.
My mind is fragmented. 
Don't know why, it just is.
Don't know why, I just don't.



I try to live my life.
It's so very hard for me.
Why is it so hard?
I see others living.
Why can't I?
The higher I reach out for the further I fall.
I feel dead.
I call my life one unlived.
As I wrestle with myself here.
Life moves on without me.
The whole world is so high above me.
Slowly my grip slips.
I look down into nothing.
That is how I am.
Maybe I should just let go.
It doesn't seem all that far down.
But I don't really want to.
My strength may be waning but I am
  not ready to let go just yet.
As long as there is the most minute measure
 of strength left in me.
I will keep trying.
I know I'm not perfect.
But I will keep trying.
I will keep reaching out.
I still believe in me.
I still believe in hope.
It's all up to me.
The choice is mine.
And only I can decide.
I choose to keep holding on.
Letting go of all unneeded weight that is
  only weighing me down.
No more will I look down.
I fall every time I do.
I will turn my gaze up.
I can feel my hope rise.
I can feel my heart and soul rise too.
I can feel myself begin to soar.
I now believe there is still hope for me.
Keeping in mind that I am still weak.
I am easily fooled.
It's still so easy for me to fall.
I am prone to letting go.
I am prone to falling into the depths.
And I still keep in mind that I am weak here.
I will not think about it any more.
I will do my best to follow my heart.
Even to the very end.
For I know I am not alone.
Even though I sometimes forget.
I am only a simple man after all.
Prone to slipping and falling.
Tending to wander.
It's so very hard for me.
It always will be.




It's the hollowness that I feel
  that the cold of despair crawls into.
It digs its claws into my flesh.
Making me bleed.
The pain soon takes over.
I am consumed.
I can feel the fear feeding off of my soul.
I am weakening.
Wasting away.
Becoming a shell of my former self.
I begin to sink into myself.
Despair has a deep grip on me.
Fear now begins to feed on my heart and mind.
Soon there will be nothing left of who I was.
I will become blacker than black.
The life has been sucked right out of me.
Do not look at me, I am hideous.
Bury me deep.
Give me my eternal sleep.
Full of endless nightmares.


(411) Scott David Buckley

(411) Scott David Buckley


These are dark times we live in.
We seem to be forsaken.
Even forgotten by God.
Evil is so prevalent.
It is so cold here.
Cold enough to freeze one's soul.
Hope is hard to come by these days.
I'm losing my strength to hold on.
My grip is slipping.
I don't want to hang here any more.
Left here, naked, for the crows to pick at.
The days don't seem to change one from the other.
The grey sucks the life out of everyone.
I am frustrated and confused.
This world is chaotic.
Silence has fallen on to this life.
Where am I to go?
When nowhere is where I am.
And no matter what I always end up nowhere.
This world that I know does not know me.
I am just a speck of dust.
I am nothing, just like this life of mine.
It's hard to be someone when one is considered
  to be no one.
I look for love.
But there is no love in this world.
I scream out: "Where is the love?!"
These times are almost over.
Will we all cease to be?
Somehow I don't think so.
Somehow I still hold onto faint hope.




Please hold me.
I'm so scared.
My heart is heavy tonight.
Oh, how my soul aches.
My mind, well, it just doesn't understand.
All these bags I carry weigh me down.
I'm not strong enough to go on.
Please hold me.
I am so very weary.
Living my life takes too much out of me.
I don't want to any more.
I don't see the point.
Why am I here?
What is my life for?
Please hold me.
Let me lay my head upon Your shoulder.
Turn Your ear to me.
Put Your hand in mine.
Will You just listen to me?
No one listens to me.
No one understands.
Please hold me.
Will You always hold me close?
Will You always hold me up?
Will You never let me down?
Because everyone else has.
Everyone has lied to me.
Everyone has betrayed me.
Please hold me.
I am all alone.
I know only despair.
I have little to no hope left.
I can't take all this any more.
Can I trust You?
Can I believe You won't forget me as 
  everyone has?
Please hold me.
Please just hold me.



When will the world stop?
When will the world go away?
I've grown so weary of it.
I don't want it any more.
I feel contaminated.
I feel filthy.
When will the world shut up?
When will the world shut down?
I just need some rest.
I just need to shed this weathered skin.
It's just that the sky keeps falling down on me.
I keep coming undone.
My world crumbles and lays in ruins
  all around me.
I am so overwhelmed by all that happens 
  in this world.
It's just too much for me to take, much less
  even comprehend.
Someone please stop the world, I want 
  to get off.
Here I am.
Where do I go from here?
I am so blind in this world.
A poisonous haze hovers all around me.
I just want to wash it all off.
But I am stained.
I am wounded.
I am scarred.
Is there anywhere for me here?
Is there somewhere for me to belong in a world 
  where I don't belong?
I just don't know.
I am always the stranger here.
I am ignored.
I am forgotten.
I am left all alone.
Maybe that's a good thing.
After all I just want to be left alone.
But, is it a blessing or a curse?
I stand here watching.
I'm watching the world as it races by 
  at break neck speed.
It just doesn't make any sense to me.
One moment here, the next, gone.
I'm left wondering as I am wandering.
Something is terribly wrong here.
So much so, it scares me.
This is the world I know.
The only world I know.
Every night I cry myself to sleep.
Where did Eden go?




In my life I have yet to live.
I'm always getting in my own way.
I'm always giving myself up.
I continually betray myself.
I have swallowed myself whole.
I have imprisoned myself.
In a cell of my own making.
Six walls, no windows, no door.
I am my own worst enemy.
I have my own blood on my hands.
I have been getting away with murder
  for years.
I am afraid to live.
More so, I am afraid to even try.
I call me "failure".
I hate my so-called life.
I hate what I have become.
I don't even know what that is.
I hate who I am.
Whomever that is.
I am here in the middle of nowhere.
Silence is the only thing that I can hear.
And it is deafening!
The sky is always falling down on me.
My world is in ruins all 'round me.
Just rubble and crumbs.
I choke on the dust in the poison air.
As I ingest that same poison, caustic air.
I am saturated.
I suffer and am insufferable.
I spit out the caustic poison.
I am a bio-hazard.
I am quarantined for everyone's safety.
I don't want anyone looking at me.
I don't want anyone anywhere near me.
In this prison cell, there is no escape and no entry.
I just want to be forgotten.
I even want to forget about myself.
I call me forsaken.
And that suits me just fine.
I am the only one free to cause all the harm
  to me.
No one can harm me here.



Father, look down on me.
Please come close to me.
Here, in all my distress.
Turn towards me.
Reach out Your hand.
Here, in all my distress.
Let Your voice whisper to me.
Please, just hold me.
Here, in all my distress.
Come comfort me.
Come soothe me.
Here, in all my distress.
Cover me with Your grace.
Wrap me in Your unfailing love.
Here, here, in all my distress.



I can see a flame burning bright 
  in this driving rain.
I can see a flame burning bright
  in the light of the sun.
I'm not there yet, but one day, I will get there.
And I know You will never let go of me
  or let me down.
I can feel You in the dark and in the light.
You are with me always.
Even in the calm and through the storms.
OH, Your voice comforts and soothes me.
I will take solace in You.
Your Name is etched on my heart.
I am Yours alone.
I can hear Your whispers.
I can hear Your shouts.
I will fall in to You.
You will absorb me.
As You penetrate me, saturating my every cell.
This lost soul has found You.
And You have found this lost soul.
For You came for me, just one.




I dread the nightfall.
I dread the biting cold.
I am blind.
I fear what is hidden.
And only reveals itself in shadow.
There is no shelter.
There is no hide.
Out in the open, shivering violently.
Without cover, I stand naked.
It always rains.
Driving, surging, pushing, pulling me under.
There is only desperation and despair.
I trust no one and nothing.
With trust there are lies and betrayal.
Bringing the absence of light.
I am encircled, surrounded.
I await the attack.
But it never comes.
I think the preference here is that I suffer.
Tormented and tortured by my own imagination.
Still I can see a faint ray of light.
Far off in the distance.
Giving me some small hope.
I hope for some kind of solace.
I can hear a still and small voice.
Whispering to my heart to keep on.
To keep on pushing.
To keep on fighting.
To never give up.
Keep giving it one more try.
Although afraid of exposing myself.
I move out and onward.
Starting the journey I am meant to take.
As I draw closer to the light I begin to feel again.
And my will and strength returns.
Giving me hope in the coming dawn.
As night falls so too the dawn rises.
Casting off the dark of night.
Casting away all shadows.
Fear begins to fade away.
As hope rises in me.
I will fear no more.
The darkness will fall.
But I will stand.
My light is the fire burning in my soul and heart.
That roaring fire is the Spirit given to me.
Where I was alone and scared before.
I now know strength and courage.
I am not alone.
One goes before me.
One watches my back.
One walks my flanks.
I am surrounded.
I have now shelter.
I have come into refuge.
Fear has melted away.
No harm can come to me.
I can now be assured.
Still I can see the dark of the night.
It is held back by the light in me.
Once silent.
Once dying.
Now I stand with my voice as my sword.
I will be counted.
I  am now the one to fear.
With my full armour on I will storm
  the very gates of Hell.
I do not fear evil anymore.
Evil will fear me now.
The death that is evil has become
  the only mortal now.



I am just trying to hang on.
Hoping beyond hope to just make it through
  this night alive.
I am hoping in my faith.
I try to make a difference in my life.
So that I may be a difference in another's life.
So they can make a difference in their own life.
Then just maybe they can be a difference
  in someone else's life.
Maybe they will find the hope to be a difference 
  in their life.
Then being a difference....
This is how the world will be changed
  for the better.
Every one person trying to be the difference.
Every one person trying to be the light.
Be that person.



"With the falling of another tear, so falls another fear."


The sun is shining full on.
I look to the heavens.
And I am not blinded.
I long to soar up above.
Knowing one day will be the day.
I am holding onto You.
Onto Your promise.
A true promise of a lifetime.
I need you more and more each day passing.
I will hold onto Your love.
Please don't ever let me down.
I love You, I love You, Oh, how I love You.
Because You first loved me.
Oh, how You love, how You love me.
Even one such as me.
All I've ever done was lie and betray You.
I've disappointed You time after time.
I think time has run out on me.
But You are still here with me.
Holding me.
Holding onto me.
No anger, just love.
Love unconditional.
I am alive, I live because of You.
When I wanted to die every day.
You gave life instead.
You have soothed and comforted all
  my hurt, harms and pain.
When I was crying in the dark alone
  it was You who were with me.
You've never deserted me.
You've never left me alone, afraid of what to say.
You've never forsaken me.
All I can say is thank You dear Lord, dear brother
  and dear friend.
It just doesn't seem enough.
After all You have done for me.
You saved me, You saved me, You saved me!
You paid the debt that I could not afford.
You came back for me.
You put a fire in my heart.
You gave me Your Spirit to stay here with me 
I am home.
In Your arms I am home.
I hold the very hand that holds the whole world.
What have I ever done to deserve all this?
What have I ever done to prove myself worthy?
I am just one man.
A simple, ordinary man.
Broken down, weathered and withered.
I have to wonder what You see in me.
I can hear You say: "Shh my child, I am in control.
  I know what I have instore for you."
"You need to just be still, do not worry, I have
   your back."
And it makes me cry every time when I think
  of all this and more.
I am just so overwhelmed.
How can You love one such as me?
I am so grateful.
For all the blessings You have given to me.
For Your infinite grace.
For Your unfailing love.
You give me reason.
You give me purpose.
You are why I am still here.
I bow down on bloodied knees before You.
You reach down and put me on my feet.
"You are mine, my child, my son." 
You say to me. 
And when I wander away again.
Wandering away is what this poor excuse 
  of a man does.
I just cannot help myself.
You, the Good Shepherd, leave all
  of the ninety-nine to come for this one 
    lost sheep.
I know You moved all Heaven and Earth
  just to get to me.
Just in time, Your love is always right on time.
You are always right here, right here with me.
I am never lonely.
Even now, right this very moment.
I can feel You here, I can see You here by my side.
You are always holding me.
I feel safe.
I feel assured.
I feel comforted.
I feel peace of mind.
All because You loved me first.
You are my one and only first love.
There is no one before You.
There will be no one after You.
There is only You.
The world cannot touch me.
Life cannot hurt me any more.
I am with You, I am for You, I am Yours.
I am not afraid.
You are all I have, You are all I need.
I love You forever and a day.
My world can go up in flames.
I can come all undone.
My sky can fall down on me.
All can desert me.
It will be of no consequence.
Because You are here with me.
You will take me in.
You will give me shelter.
You will give me refuge.
And I will rest in the Your shadow.
Comforted, soothed, and calmed.
Nothing will keep me separated from You.
You love me, You love me, that's all that
  matters to me.
Nothing else matters.
Just as long as You are here with me.
Right here with me.
Right here.



It feels like it's too late.
I let you go again.
And you just left.
Leaving me feeling the guilt.
But is it really all my fault?
You always blamed me.
But I'm not the only one who waited too long.
How can you be blameless?
It's not fair I have to carry all the guilt.
You should be sharing the load.
And before you go laying all this on me.
You really should look into your own heart.
I think you'll find guilt there.
Maybe you'll realize it's not just me.
I cannot care about this any more.
I'm done with you.
And you can blame me for this.
I have  a clear conscience.
I don't care if your going to continue 
  being bitter.
I know it'll eat you alive, consuming 
  all of you.
Or maybe you don't care either.
Oh well, I guess you were never 
  really a friend of mine.
You lied to me!
It's too late for forgiveness.
It's way too late for apologies.
They'd just be lies too.
You're gone, as if you were ever
  really here.
Now I am gone.
I let go of this burden I've carried 
  for too long.
Still I feel the hurt from your betrayal.
How could you?
Now, I will bury you in the cold ground.
I will forget about you.




You are not me.
You cannot see what I see.
You cannot feel what I feel.
What makes you think you can tell me how 
  I should live my life?
This is my life, such as it is.
You are a fool.
You are so arrogant.
Making you ignorant.
All I hear you say is babble.
Your mouth is a bottomless, dark pit.
One I will not fall into.
You can go ahead and swallow yourself.
You were a stumbling block but now you're just rubble.
You will become a stepping stone.
You will become another milestone for me.
I know I will leave you in my dust.
I know I will rise above you, so high above you.
You will no longer hold me back.
I won't let you.
You will no longer hold me down.
I won't let you.
All you've said and done have become fuel 
  for the fire within my heart.
I am so alive.
You are dead to me.
Dead as sin.
I will not let you in my mind.
I deserve better than this.
I am gone, gone, gone.
I will no longer waste a single thought on you.
I am moving onward.
I am moving upward.
Rising above to soaring.
On eagles wings I will soar.
Higher than even the angels go.
I am alive.
My heart and mind are guarded.
My resolve is steel solid.
I'm never coming back. 
I am never coming back down.
I will keep and bear these scars.
They give me hope.
I will never look back here again.
I remember how far I have come.
All without you telling me anything.
My life starts now.


(277) Words HURT

(277) Words HURT Stigma causes all the ignorance and arrogance of the layperson. And that leads to comments or actions that  cause harm, hurt and deep felt wounds. It is why those who are victims of bullying, afflicted with mental illnesses and addiction, which is strongly linked to mental illness. Stigma is why so many of these people suffer in silence, needlessly. The silence is the true foe here and the true killer. THIS MUST STOP NOW!!! The death of stigma is my dream and prayer. I believe in this cause with all of who I am. Please do not be ignorant and thus arrogant. Do not be the problem be the solution. Do not be the dark be the light. Do not hate those who are seemingly different than the so-called majority, rather love. Love leads to acception and some kind of understanding or empathy.

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